Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, my darlings! Thanks for all the love and support. Have lots of fun, be safe, and whatever you do, don't be this guy.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmas 2008


My Mom's Christmas tree: It's a fake and lime green, but it's beautiful.

My aunt and uncle's gorgeous Christmas tree. We went over there on Christmas Eve. Their place was so Christmas-y and magical.

My Christmas tree. My cat loves sleeping next to it, underneath the lights.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Your Personal Year for 2009



Now, whether you believe in numerology or not, this can be a lot fun. I figure mine out every year, and it's usually pretty accurate.

First, reduce the month and day of your birth, your birthday, to a single digit. Using my birthday for example, February 27th would be (2+2+7=11; 1+1=2). If your month and day total comes to 11 or 22, the master numbers, in this instance, reduce the number to 2 and 4, respectively.

Next, reduce the year for which you are making the calculation to a single digit. The year 2009 would become 11 or 1+1=2. My personal year would be 4.

Personal Year 1. . . .A New Beginning In Your Life
The current year is the beginning of a new nine year cycle for you. It holds the promise of being an exciting new adventure, with life taking on new challenges that pave the way for the next cycle of nine years in your life. This is a time to clarify your goals and it is a time to act on them. Hard work may be necessary to get a new venture moving. Your physical strength will be up during this year, perhaps higher than it has been for some time, as you have some special needs for this extra energy. If you are unable or unwilling to answer the call to change and make the move in your life the appears necessary now, your prospects may be delayed until the next cycle begins in nine years. Because of this, you feel like an adventure, a major change in your life, something new. New goals should be clearly set and worked toward, as this is really a new beginning of a nine year cycle and it is best not to dwell on the past at this time. This will be fairly easy for you to do because most of the problems and disappointments of the past will tend to disappear, leaving the way open for these new challenges. This is a great time; use it to its full advantage.

Personal Year 2. . . .Development, cooperation, and waiting
This is a number 2 personal year. A personal year 2 is a wait and see time; a year when you will find yourself in the background and very much in a stage of development. This is not a time to force the issue and try to move forward. It is a time for cooperation and building relationships that will benefit you in the future; a year for accumulating and collecting. Aggressiveness will cause problems now. You must be prepared for delays, detours, stoppages and you must be patient. This is a time of small contribution, of helping, and details must be taken care of when they come up. You may give time and effort to further another's work. This year may be a test to your self-control and emotional sensitivities. This is a time to improve your abilities to work with others in a productive way and this can be difficult for you if you have chiefly worked alone in the past. Keep calm, cool, and pleasant. You may experience a degree of nervous tension during this period; the two year brings a tendency to emotional extremes including depression. Very deep relationships with a person of the opposite sex (including marriage) may be more apt to occur during a 2 year. If married, there is apt to be a deepening of feeling in the relationship during a 2 year.

Personal Year 3. . . .Social expansion & creative successes
This is a number 3 personal year. This is a social, happy year, and it generally tends to exude bright and cheerful vibrations. This is a year when you will want to check up on old friends and broaden your social circle to include some new ones. Romance and love affairs may bloom. You are inclined to live life to its fullest now, even if you have to pay the consequences later on. You are likely to be more sociable and the bridle of responsibility will seem to be loosened a bit. You are inclined to scatter your energies and undertake too many things at the same time. You can safely take some time off to enjoy yourself, but resist the temptation to completely give in to having a good time; keep your goals in mind. A 3 personal year is a good time to expand personal creative talents, particularly those related to the arts and verbal skills. Recognition in this regard is likely this year.

While this can be a happy year as far as personal expression and activities are concerned, it may be a disastrous year on the business scene. A generally frivolous attitude in that environment can cause rash decisions and impractical, unfinished schemes. This is not likely to be a very good year for your finances, and it is fortunate that the next year is designed to compensate these effects.

Personal Year 4. . . .Hard work and slow, but steady progress
This is a number 4 personal year for you. The previous year frivolity will now be truly forgotten, as the facts of life are clearly spelled out. This is a year of hard work and effort when one must knuckle down to the task at hand. A year of digging in and hoeing, a reestablishment of self-control. In many ways, however, it is a frustrating year, when considerable effort fails to produce dramatic results. One step forward and two back may seem to be the case most of the time. This is an organizational period and you must look at your current and past performance in a very hard light. It is a time to get organized and bring yourself down to earth. Responsibilities will increase, magnifying the effort and hard work needed to maintain a reasonable level of existence. Health and diet should be carefully scrutinized this year, as physical resistance is low and you may become more susceptible to ailments. A tidying up of affairs is now in order, as you must make ready for a very hectic year ahead.

Personal Year 5. . . . Feeling Loose and Free
This is a number 5 year, a year of major change in your life. Horizons are expanded and growth is less impeded. You are likely to make a number of new friends this year as social activities are expanded. This is a year that has brought/will bring excitement and adventure and a good deal more freedom than you have experienced in recent years. This is a time for feeling loose and free; for moving away from old routines in a constructive way. If you became bogged down during this past year, now is the time to seek out new directions.
The problem with a personal year 5 is the tendency to scatter energies in all directions. Your ability to do detail work is limited now and it will make you feel very confined. In all, this a free-wheeling year that is liable to bring major changes to your life; your career, your family situation, your residence.

Personal Year 6. . . . Love, Family, Home and Responsibility
This is a number 6 Personal Year for you. A personal year 6 tends to bring on increasing responsibilities and a deepening concern for family, loved ones, and close friends. It may be a year when you are called on to make some adjustments in your life, or sacrifices for those in your family or close circle of friends. This is not really a year for major accomplishments, but rather a time to handle those adjustments to your plans that may be necessary or required, and for finishing projects started earlier. Endeavors will seem to be moving so very slowly throughout this year. You should expect to have a very good year so far as family, domestic, and romantic matters are concerned. Your emotional interchange with those who are close to you should be at its very best during this particular year. The important thing is to be willing to accept a slower pace and be sure to enjoy the peace and harmony that the personal year number 6 will bring.

Personal Year 7. . . . a time for analysis and understanding
A 7 personal year promises to be a very introspective year, a period of some pause and reflection between very active years in your life. This year should provide you with some time for gaining some understanding of yourself, and you are apt to spend a good bit of time in contemplation. It will be good for you to spend time alone or in quiet activities, as free from outside responsibilities as possible. You should try to get away from business pressures. This is a good year to reflect on the past and plan for the future. This will not tend to be a year of action, but rather a year of waiting and development. One of the most profitable activities in with to engage during a personal year 7 is that of study and writing, for your ability to think clearly, analyze, and integrate your thoughts is peaked now. Your capacity for research and understanding is at its very best. It would not be unusual for you to take on an appearance of coolness and detachment during a 7 year. Certainly, it is best for you to focus your attention on your talents and your skills in an effort to use the time you have now to refine them. Perhaps you can find the time to gain more education, or simply spend free time in reflection and meditation.

Personal Year 8. . . . Attainment and capital gains
This is a number 8 personal year for you. This is your power year, a period when you can make important strides in you life. Coming after a very slow and introspective period (the personal year 7), you may start feeling some stirrings of ambitions. This is a year of big decisions and major achievements. Activity is your keynote now, and you will find yourself very much involved and occupied. Opportunities for advancement and recognition for past and current work is likely to come about during this year. You have things going for you so long as you take advantage and act. It is easy for you to branch out and expand in a businesslike manner. If you are at all inclined, this is the time to exude self-confidence and authority, because others will tend to be receptive to your leadership and control. Your power and status potential is at a peak of the nine years personal epicycle that concludes at the end of the next year.

Personal Year 9. . . . Reflection and Reaching Out
This is a 9 personal year for you. This is a year of completions, ending, and a time when you are apt to take inventory of the many factors in your life, some of which you are no doubt proud of, and others that you may want to change. You are likely to scrutinize old values, ideals, and the ideas that you thought were important. This should be a time when you become more involved with other's and giving may become more important that merely looking out for yourself. You may also become aware of a lure to commune with nature, as escapist desires become much stronger than in the past. A lot of things that you have been working for should come to completion during this year, and you will tend to clear the deck for the beginning of a new nine year cycle.

(Via Astrology-Numerology)

Does it seem accurate? If you don't know, try it with 2008 to see if it coincides with this past year.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

There ARE Other Fish in the Sea


My girlfriend is meeting up with a guy she met on the free dating site, Plenty of Fish, which by the way, has to be one of the worst menageries of desperate/horny/creepy/pathetic men I've ever seen on a dating site. My dear friend has a "date" with a guy who is unemployed, lost his license (claims it's due to speeding tickets, but I smell a DUI), and has ADHD - why would you tell somebody that before you met them??

His online profile was a gem: his interests included "porn, Howard Stern, eating, and intimate moments". Swoon! And, is "intimate moments" another way of saying he likes sex, or does he really like the special, quiet time between him and his lady in a candlelit room, covered with rose petals? I'm guessing it's code for nailing some chick against a wall, while some lesbian 3-way porno plays in the background, and his plate of manicotti gets cold.

I could be wrong, but this guy sounds like a real loser.

I'm glad I'm of the sane mind that I would rather wait for a quality guy than to date just anybody because I didn't want to be alone.

My friend is going to drive an hour to see this guy, go out for some lame dinner, and then watch a movie at his apartment, and will most likely, have sex with the guy. Some guys call for their pizza to be delivered, and others call for their casual sex to be delivered. Whatever works, I guess!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Starting Over


This holiday season has been a particularly bittersweet time for me, because I'm in a transitional period of my life. A few months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, and all of my friends have either moved away or are in serious relationships. For the time being, I'm alone. I have my family, and they are wonderful, but I wish I had a couple girls around with whom I could go out and have some fun.

I know once I get my own place and move out, I will meet new people, but in the meantime, I'm in the same apartment and I'm stuck at home on the weekends. It sucks, and it's depressing. However, I know it's all part of my life changing, so I just have to accept it as the temporary suckage that it is.

I try to make the best of it, and I'm optimistic that 2009 will be the year of Colette. I hope to go back to school, get a new apartment for me and my kitty, and meet some cool people. I want to live my life again, and I'm doing everything I can to get back to the person I used to be.

This past relationship took a lot out of me, but it also gave me life lessons and made me grow as a person. There were bad times, but there were also good ones, and I will always have a special place in my heart for my ex. I wish him all the happiness in the world, and I hope 2009 is a great year for him as well.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Four Bucks


This is McDonald's latest ad campaign obviously targeting Starbucks and their $4.00 espresso drinks. It's clever, and it's a great marketing ploy, but can I just say, I like Starbucks. I would much rather order an espresso drink there than ordering it at McDonald's, and it's not about the jazz or Motown CDs they play or the fancy names of all the coffee drinks. No, it's because that's what Starbucks is known for. They make espresso drinks, and I know they're not going to fuck it up because that's all they do, from when they open to when they close. They make funky espresso drinks with pretentious pseudo-European names, and I'm okay with that because they taste delicious.

Now, if I go to McDonald's, and I order a cappuccino, chances are likely that it could suck and take forever for them to make because cappuccino-making is not their strong suit. Just as if Starbucks started selling fast food burgers and fries, I doubt that would be theirs either. It would probably take longer than usual, and they, most likely, would be more concerned with making somebody's low-fat, decaf caramel macchiato than my cheeseburger and order of french fries.

So, yeah, I get the whole gist of the ad campaign, but in reality, Starbucks customers are going to continue buying their fancy coffee drinks there, myself included. You get what you pay for. Starbucks has a good product, and they market it extremely well, right down to the little coffee cup wraps that keep your hands from burning. Plus, you know when you order a specialty espresso drink, it's going to be prepared perfectly and taste the way it should.

Do I really want to go to McDonald's and risk that the guy behind the counter really knows how to make a cappuccino? Or, be that customer who pisses everybody off behind the counter because you were the one asshole who had to order something complicated. Starbucks welcomes complicated orders. I've been in Starbucks before and have overheard the most ridiculous orders, and then couldn't believe it when people got them - and they were made correctly! If somebody orders that same drink at McDonald's, I'm willing to bet they are not getting what wanted.

When it's all said and done, is four bucks really that dumb when you are purchasing an exceptional product?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Times We Had


I am currently reading The Times We Had by Marion Davies, who was newspaper magnate, William Randolph Hearst's mistress for many years. It's a wonderfully entertaining book that will put a smile on your face. She comes across as funny, smart, and very lovable. You can see why Hearst was so smitten with her. I wish I could go back in time for one night, so I could hang out with her, sipping cocktails in her hilltop mansion and having a gay old time.

My friend, Jaime, recommended the book, so I e-mailed her yesterday to discuss Hearst's behavior in the beginning of the story:

Me: Slightly stawkerish. He’s constantly following her around! It’s kind of endearing, but then when you start thinking about it, it’s creepy. Ridiculously rich men can get away with stalking, I guess.

Jaime: Yeah, I mean he was also giving her rolls of hundred dollar bills to use as tampons. And it seemed like he never forced her into sleeping with him. It just seemed like a lot of cuddles and buying giraffes. Right now it sounds like the ideal situation. I've had passionate relationships and, with few exceptions, nothing good has ever come of them. So if some guy came along that wanted to buy me things and hang out with me and build me a palace in the mountains, I'd tuck my dog under my arm and be off.

Me: I love how he gives her a diamond watch, and she loses it! So, her friend calls and tells him, and the next day, she receives another one – no note or anything, just a watch! She mentions how it’s not as pretty as the other one! And, he’s always bailing her out of situations, and she barely knows him. He’s just this looming figure in the shadows, but he’s loaded, so nobody gets freaked out. Because if Mr. Hearst was "William Hearst the Chimney Sweep", they would’ve called the cops on him long ago for stalking little girls. The story is great, and I love her. She’s so adorable in the way she tells a story. In my head, she sounds just like Betty Boop.
Dude, giraffes and cuddles sound awesome. It’s a win win, in my book. Who needs passion or sex when I can host parties and drink all day and night in a lavish mansion with marble pools and elaborate gardens! Passion is seriously overrated, and it only causes problems in the long run. I’ll take my diamond watches, exotic animals, and champagne any day, thank you very much.

Related Posts: Dick Whitman or The Guy from Simply Red?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Do You Like Websites?

The offbeat, but very funny comedian, Zach Galifianakis, interviews Mad Men star, Jon Hamm, and it's pretty ridiculous, not to mention hilarious.



There"s nobody that more consistently produces web video greatness than Zach Galifianakis (except maybe for this hamster). The previous episodes of his Funny or Die talk show Between Two Ferns were fantastic, and this new one with guest Jon Hamm may be the best yet.

(Via Comedy.com via Funny or Die)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Now Your Dog Can Be Sexist Too


I don't get this at all, but then again I'm not some idiot frat boy or a player who thinks that anything with the Playboy logo is cool. It's not. The insignia is getting as worn out and old as its creator, Hugh Hefner. It's not sexy. In the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and even the 90s, it may have been; but now, it's 2008, almost 2009, and the logo has become a coat-of-arms for douchebags everywhere. Dogs should not have to be subjected to drinking their water out of blinged out Playboy pimp bowls. I'm sure even they think it's stupid.

(Via Spencer's)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I Can Steelz Kat Toyz?


Frankie the cat has been accused of creeping into his neighbors' houses and stealing their cats' toys. Apparently, this sneaky little fellow is coming and going through the little catflap at his house and going on a rampage, snagging as many little stuffed animals, squeak toys, and any other pet toy he can find. So far, he has taken 35 toys, and his owner, Julie Bishop, claims he drops them on the living room carpet as soon as I gets them. She is now in the process of trying to reconnect the toys' rightful owners.

(Via The Daily Mail)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Alice in Vogue 2003












God, these are so beautiful.This is Annie Leibovitz's amazing Vogue photo shoot from 2003 with supermodel, Natalia Vodianova, as Alice Liddell and many famous fashion designers as the key players in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.

In order of the pictures, the designers are:
Olivier Theyskens
Tom Ford
Helmut Lang
Marc Jacobs
Karl Lagersfeld
Jean Paul Gaultier
Viktor & Rolf
Christian Lacroix
Stephen Jones
John Galliano
Alexis Roche
Donatella Versace
Nicolas Ghesquière (Balenciaga)

Which photo is your favorite?

(Via Sooth Brush)

This Year's Dick in a Box

If you haven't seen last night's insanely funny SNL digital short called "I Jizzed in My Pants", then for the love of God, watch it now. It's hilarious. The digital shorts are created by SNL player, Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone. These guys make up The Lonely Island, a comedy troupe specializing in short films and sketches. See how many celeb cameos you can spot in this one. I had to watch it a couple times to figure out who the guy was mopping in the grocery store.



If you think that's funny, check out "The Bing Bong Brothers" by The Lonely Island, which parodies The Ying Yang Twins' hit "Wait the Whisper Song".


Or
Just 2 Guyz

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Masochist Within Us


Sometimes the need to be loved, wanted, and desired is so strong that it makes you stay in situations that are unhealthy for you. My girlfriend told me a story about how she was with a man for several years: she said it was a rollercoaster of emotion and constant heartbreak. It was a dysfunctional relationship. He had a drinking problem, was a controlling asshole, but he knew how to sweet talk her when he needed to - which was pretty much all the time. He told her that she should fly home and be with her family, who lived in the Midwest, because he said he was never going to visit them. Nice guy.

They got engaged and a couple of months before the wedding, he broke up with her. He had met somebody else, and he wanted to date her. They were living together at the time, and after a couple of months of her staying there post break-up, he told her to hit the bricks. He wanted her to move out for good. Six months later, they got back together, but she never moved back in with him; instead, the relationship consisted of her going to his apartment a couple nights a week. It was all on his terms. She was his part-time girlfriend, if that. She was more like the "she'll do for now until I find somebody else" girl. And he did. He found the girl that he would later marry, and she was left in the cold once again. After the initial break-up, she had wasted 3 years with a man who did not love her and didn't really want to be with her. They had been together for 10.

After she told me the story, I immediately thought "How could you just stay in that bad relationship for 3 years after being told that he didn't love you anymore and he didn't want to be with you?!", but then as if she knew what I was thinking said: "I know. How could I stay in that bad situation? It was masochistic, but at the time, I couldn't help myself. I was my own worst enemy."

And then I think about some of my past relationships, the people I've loved, and the bad situations in which I've gotten myself into, and I understand. The need to be loved by somebody can be so powerful that it can make us into torture victims. Sometimes it's not about the love you feel for the actual person, it's more about not being able to let go of the notion of that person loving you. They reject you, and you are so desperate for that love that you settle for anything. Settling will always cause you pain in the end.

Bonnie Raitt wrote some of the most poignant song lyrics about love and breaking up: "I can't make you love me if you don't." It's that simple. You can't make somebody love you, despite how much you want them to or as much as you try to make them. Love is a funny thing: you can't help who you fall in love with.

Don't waste your time with those who do not love you back. Defy the masochist within and most importantly, learn to love yourself.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Wanna Be a VS Fashion Model? Put Down the Cupcakes


NY Mag features a blog about the annual Victoria Secret fashion show, which premiered Wednesday night, and Karolina Kurkova getting criticized for her weight. Yeah can you believe that shit?!
"To prepare for the show, Karolina works out for three hours a day and cuts out carbohydrates and wheat. Fun. Her regular diet is no picnic, either. She says it consists of green juice, hard-boiled eggs, grilled fish, vegetables, and ten nuts at a time (yes, she counts them). Still, a woman at the show tells the Post reporter, "She really porked out … It's good she dropped a little bit of weight, but really…"

I'd like to see what this woman looks like because I'm willing to bet her body pales in comparison to Karolina's. Un-fucking-believable. Even supermodels get shit about their weight nowadays. What a sad society we live in. If you have any curves, then you're deemed as fat.

I watched the show, and let me just say: Karolina looked fantastic, and anybody would kill for a body like hers. Ugh, that woman who was quoted needs a good bitch slapping for promoting anorexia. FAIL.

(Via NY Mag)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

3 Beautiful Women, 3 Terrible Outfits


This picture confuses me. How did three of the most beautiful women on the planet choose such bad outfits and then pose together? It's like the perfect storm of awful fashion choices. Penelope Cruz looks as if she threw on a potato sack and then grabbed some fancy tights and gold heels to pull the look together. Scarlett Johannson's outfit looks like she raided somebody's mother's closet and stole her evening wear. Those are the type of pants you put on, and think "Oh God, I feel so fat right now." Everybody feels fat in those pants. High-waisted and peg-legged is NEVER good. Eva Mendes is the least of the fashion disasters, but how many times have we seen this look? It's a dress you would find at Macy's. It's good for going to your nephew's baptism or attending mass on Easter Sunday.

Some People Like Burgers and Some People LIKE Burgers



Why do I get a feeling the next time I order a burger, I'm going to feel dirty?

I once dated a guy who moaned and grunted when he ate. One time, I brought him home a slice of Oreo cheesecake, and I thought he was going to have an orgasm on the spot. Ew.

(Via The Soup)