The Most Annoying People at Starbucks

I read this in the NY Times Laugh Lines blog, and I just had to share it. It's hilarious because it's so true!

8. Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large
I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I’m speaking to you in that Native American langauge we used in World War II to deliver coded messages …

7. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office
Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. “Yeah, I’m gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot … and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And …

6. The Writer Who Wants You to Know He’s a Writer
Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at him. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their iMac, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles) …

5. Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Taker
At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn’t have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart greeter who also takes your order …

4. Complicated Order Guy Who Needs his Coffee Right … Now.
When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system …

3. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Every Day
Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world’s biggest bore and the world’s biggest hypocrite combined into one big [expletive] …

2. Study Groups
Hey, [forget] the library with all its “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to go to an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books …

1. The Person Who Peruses the DVD Section as if He Might Purchase.
It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that he’s not in line, but instead deciding whether or not he wants to purchase the “Pursuit of Happyness” DVD. “Gee, what’s this movie Pursuit of Happyness about? I didn’t hear of it last summer when it grossed over $100 million.” Read more …
(Via Laugh Lines via Holy Taco)