A New Year is Approaching

I'm looking forward to a new year, a new outlook, and a better life in 2011.

What are you wishing for in 2011?

Don't Use Real Camels in a Nativity Scene

Nativity Scene FAIL - watch more funny videos

Usher vs. Fan

Don't you hate it when you're trying to sing your romantic, baby-makin' R&B song, and the random chick on your lap accidentally kicks you in the kisser?

I'm sure Usher does, too.



Via Best Week Ever

Katy Perry @ VS Fashion Show

I don't want to like this song, but I do. Sorry to all the Katy Perry haters who are reading this.

A Classy Lady Has Passed On

“I’ve lived just about the most perfect life. I’ve had the best time. If I wanted to do something, I did it. I had house seats for the theater. I was invited to screenings and book parties. I’ve had fun. What else can you ask in life?” -Elaine

Elaine Kaufman, the owner and the high-spirited hostess of Elaine's in NY has died. She was 81. She had one of the best lives one could have: She had the opportunity to meet famous authors, celebrities, musicians, artists, pretty much everybody who was somebody. I was fortunate enough to meet her through a good friend of mine, who was very close with her. She was a classy lady, full of piss and vinegar who didn't take lip from anybody, especially her customers.

Walking into the inner sanctum that is Elaine's was a truly wondrous experience: The golden glow of the lights that lined the walls, the intimate line of tables, overflowing with lively conversation and laughter, and Elaine sitting at a large, round table with her guests, taking it all in, enjoying the company around her, listening intently and shooting out barbed remarks as if she were being fed the lines in a play. She was an amazing woman, full of class, and fire when it was warranted. She will be missed by many. She was not only the proprietor of Elaine's, she was the Empress of her own rich and beautiful kingdom, one in which she filled with some of the most brilliant, talented people the world has ever known.

NY has lost a legend today.

(Via The NY Times)

Nice Guys: 12 Days a Year

How fantastic is this! It's a calendar, featuring "nice Jewish guys." What a great holiday gift to give a single girl with a sense of humor, or maybe just a girl who loves Jewish guys!

Via Perpetual Kid

A Break-Up

After recently going through my own, I came up with a description of a break-up. Feel free to share your own experiences.

The only way to describe heartbreak is it sucks A LOT. Some days it sucks more. Some days it sucks surprisingly less than you think it should. Then, the next day, it sucks more than it ever has.

You hate yourself. You hate him/her. You hate that you're alone. You hate other couples. You hate that you feel so powerless, that you let yourself get to such a vulnerable point, that you cared so much. You hate that they're probably not thinking about you while you're completely haunted by thoughts of them. You hate that they moved on. You hate the thought of their happiness without you in their life. You hate that once the hurt and missing goes away, you're left with a deep abyss of nothingness.

But mostly, you hate the fact that you miss that person so much, and you can't do anything about it but feel the pain and the soul-crushing want.

Quote of the Day

"The more I talk about 5'9, 112 pound 18-22 year olds, the more I end up pouring cereal in the morning for some middle aged divorcee's child." - My friend, discussing his dating life.

What Wilton Doesn't Want You to Know

Wilton Rolled Fondant...











IS PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!!

Racist Fondant Via Jezebel

Boardwalk Empire is Hella Creepy, But I Love It

HBO's series, Boardwalk Empire, is one of those shows you either love or hate. I happen to love it. I watch it every Sunday night. I never miss an episode. I love the writing, acting, storyline, lavish sets, etc.

This season is almost to a close. It's getting hella creepy. Van Alden, the FBI Agent, has already revealed his fetish for self-flagellation. He likes it so much that he has huge scars all over his back. Doesn't his wife ever ask him about those? This past episode he was so weird that he even skeeved out Margaret, the Irish immigrant/widow/Nucky's new bed buddy. Once he started talking about how he looks at her picture (from when she was 16) every night, she was all:

In the end, we saw him drinking at a speakeasy and (seducing?) Lucy, Nucky's jilted, sad, pathetic, half-retarded, baby-talking lover. Paz de la Huerta is a horrible actress. Sometimes I think she's good, and then I realize I have no idea what I'm talking about. I think she's so bad at acting that she tricks you into thinking she's better than she is. It's the Jedi mind trick of Method Acting. "If I play this so over-the-top and stupid, people won't know that I can't act." I saw her in Enter the Void, and it was the same thing. Also, the being naked every other scene helps out a lot, too. I'm convinced her body of work has only been possible because of her, quite spectacular, body of work.

Lucy and Van Alden had sex. Lucy was on top, her bodacious boobs bobbing as she bounced on Van Alden. Unfortunately, we had to see a very naked Van Alden underneath her, and it was cringe-worthy to watch. Van Alden is not a sexy character: He's the type of guy you don't want to picture naked, ever. The sex scene seemed longer than it was, and by longer, I mean it felt like it went on for hours. When it was over, I needed bleach for my brain. Regarding Van Alden, between the animalistic pounding and visible whipping scars, I may never be right again.

Photo Via Best Week Ever

This is Amazing

I just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, and let me tell you, it truly was the most magical, amazing experience of my entire life. The French countryside was like something out of a storybook, the Roman ruins were magnificent, and the men, well, European men are by far the most romantic in the world.

You American men all think you're so suave and sophisticated. Well, think again! European men make you look like the immature, inexperienced little children you are. They really know how to make a woman feel special over there. Unlike the so-called men here in the States, European men know how to treat a woman right.

For one thing, European men aren't afraid to come up and talk to you. And they know how to start slow, with a nice cup of Italian espresso or a long walk on some historic street. They know the places you can't find in any tourist guide. They know the whole history of the cities in which they live—who the fountains are named after, who the statues are.

I remember one unforgettable night in Athens, I sat and listened to a Greek sailor for hours as he told me about the countless men who fought over Helen back in ancient times. Afterward, he told me he loved his homeland even more now that he'd seen it through my eyes. I ask you, would an American man ever say something as deep and beautiful as that?

European men know the most romantic little cafés and bistros and trattorias, candlelit places where you can be alone and drink the most fantastic wine. They tell you what's on the menu and what you should try. (If it wasn't for a certain young man in Milan, I never would have discovered fusilli a spinaci et scampi.) And the whole time, they're looking deep into your eyes, like you're the only woman on the entire planet. What woman could resist a man like that? Then, after a moonlit stroll along the waterfront and a kiss in the doorway of their artist's loft, you find yourself unable to—well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

I'll never forget my magical semester abroad. One thing's for sure—I'm ruined for American men forever!

Now, read the Counterpoint.

Via The Onion

Blue Valentine

This movie, starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, is the story of a relationship on the rocks.

Which poster do you like better?

Via Daemon's Movies

Hey Y'all, It's Pretty Cool

Via Hulu

Leo is Killing It

Ok, can I just tell you how excited I am that one of my favorite actors, Leonardo DiCaprio, has signed on to play one of the most prolific serial killers in American history, H.H. Holmes, in his new film based on the amazing non-fiction book, The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. I just picked up the book the other day, and I can't put it down! It's riveting and incredibly well-written.

The book is the amazingly true story of two men: one is the architect, responsible for the World's Fair in Chicago; the other is an evil, manipulative Svengali who was able to lure a countless number of women to his "Murder Castle" and torture and kill them in most unspeakable of ways: Think the movie, Hostel, only true and old timey. Holmes is the first known serial killer in America.

Leonardo DiCaprio is going to be awesome. I can't wait to see how he portrays him. Holmes was quite handsome and charming. He was a true psychopath. Beneath his cool, blue-eyed gaze and friendly demeanor, there was a brutal murderer who had total disregard for human life. He had the brilliant ability to mimic a flesh-and-blood human being, one filled with emotions and empathy toward others. He was master of manipulation and underneath it all he was a monster. He admitted to 27 murders, 9 of which were confirmed, but many believe there may have been as many as 200 who fell victim to his charm, which ultimately led to their unfortunate fate.

I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing. ...I was born with the Evil One standing as my sponsor beside the bed where I was ushered into the world, and he has been with me since. - H.H. Holmes

Going Through It

There's really no other way to describe the feeling of the stages of emotional crisis than to say: "You're going through it." You're dealing with it. You're feeling the different emotions. You're grieving the loss of what once was. You're letting go of the pain. You're accepting change whether you want to or not.

They say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." This is true, but it also hardens you. I think of a heart entangled in vines, beautiful green vines, full of life and blossoming with tiny white flowers. When the pain reaches you, when the exquisite hurt envelops you in its darkness, the vines harden, the white pearls of flowers shrivel, and they tighten around the heart. They wrap around it until the heart can barely beat, and then out of the stiffened, now brown vines, the thorns pop out and pierce it.

I'm not sure if those piercings in your heart ever go away. Even after time passes and years go by, do those tiny holes disappear? Or, do they evolve into invisible scars? You might not be able to see them, but you can feel them. They never leave. The vines and the white flowers grow back: they wind through the tiny holes like serpents in the grass. We're stronger, yet forever marked, branded by the heartache in our lives.

Maybe when we experience deep hurt, the puncture wounds exist, so we can always remember what our heart was forced to endure, how we survived, and how we got through it before it killed us.

Life Into the "Void"

Intense and beautiful.

Enter the Void

I saw a fantastic film last night on IFC OnDemand. It was Gaspar Noe's, Enter the Void. I'm still haunted and amazed by it. I will write about it later as I try to wrap my brain around the whole film experience.

Betrayed

Somebody I cared about betrayed me. I never knew what that felt like until now. It's the feeling of somebody punching you in the stomach and when you try to get them to stop, they do it again. I hope to never feel that again. I am haunted by why this person did what he did to me, after I gave him so much and cared about him the way I did. I would've done anything for him. And, what did he give me in return? He stabbed me in the fucking back. I hope he is forever plagued with the guilt and regret of what he did to me. I pray that karma comes back to him. His excuses will always be nothing but excuses to me. The damage is done. His actions sealed the coffin shut. I hope he forever regrets losing me, the one person in this world who gave a shit about him.

The Beautiful and the Damned

I let somebody into my life who tried to destroy me in the short time that we even knew each other. In the book, Lolita, there is a quote where Lolita says to Humbert Humbert: "He broke my heart. You merely broke my life." This person almost broke my life.

The person he showed to me was the person he wanted to be, but that was just a fantasy. Our life was a beautiful facade of two people spending every day together, laughing together, sharing stories, and always being there for one another. The person he truly was, was not the person I even knew.

I never knew he was an addict. I never knew he had a past. I never knew he had spent years hurting the ones who loved him the most. Because of this, he almost destroyed my life. I trusted a person that I thought he was. I didn't know there was an addict lurking behind the man I was falling in love with.

I am left to pick up the pieces of the mess he left behind. He is gone, hopefully finding the redemption he had been desperately seeking. I am here. Trying to go on with my life. Trying to make the pain go away. Trying to heal a broken heart.

The last thing I gave him before he left was the book by F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and the Damned. He was beautiful and at the moment, he is certainly damned.

One of My Favorite Movie Posters

One of the best movies made. Not to mention, one of the most beautiful movie posters.

Amadeus (1984)

Via Smashing Magazine

12 Terrifying Jell-o Recipes

Most of these pictures I recognize from my mom's old cookbook. I remember seeing some of them when I was little and wondering what these inedible monstrosities were. Jell-o and meat should never be combined, ever. I've known this since I was five.

"Ring-Around-the-Tuna" sounds like an unfortunate bacterial infection. Yeah, I said it.


Via BuzzFeed

Quitting Facebook

"Stay away from Anne."

Via College Humor

Chris Brown Crying

Chris Brown broke down crying during his Michael Jackson tribute on the BET Awards. Here are the 10 best pictures of Chris Brown crying at The World Cup.



Via Best Week Ever

Funny

Aziz Ansari was on The Jimmy Kimmel show, discussing his experience at an R. Kelly concert. Hilarious.



Happy 4th Everybody!

One Thing

All of my friends seem to come to me for love advice. It's always been this way. I think I give good advice. Well, I hope so anyway. But, I've been thinking about this lately. Why do I give good advice on love and relationships, considering my love life isn't what you would call successful? Why take advice from me, a single girl still looking for a great guy to share my life with?

I think it's because I've dated so much, gotten my heart broken so many times, felt intense love and pain, and watched my own relationship deteriorate within the course of a few years and lose my best friend in the process. I've been there, through all of it: I've had a countless number of bad dates, e-mailed and chatted with 100s of guys only to never talk to them again, wasted hours online on various dating websites, and even broken out of my shell around guys only to get rejected.

Dating can suck. It's not easy.

I give good advice because I know how bad it can be. I give good advice because when you're crying so much that your eyes ache, I've cried those tears, too. I give good advice because when you've spent your Saturday nights alone, wishing you had somebody there next to you, I've been there, too. But, I also give good advice because I like helping women find the answers which they are seeking and providing them with a shimmer of solace during difficult times.

One thing I do want to add is: I never wanted to be Carrie Bradshaw. My life doesn't revolve around couture, Cosmos, and cock. To tell you otherwise, I would be lying. My life isn't glamorous. Dating isn't glamorous. What I experience on a daily basis is real life. I spend many nights in the quiet with my own thoughts and emotions.

My best friend calls these introspective times of our lives as "waiting in the mezzanine", as you watch the world and observe the people in it. Somebody commented that I'm a "lonely, single girl", but I'm not lonely. I've gone through lonely periods, sure. At the moment, I am content. My life is good, with or without a man in it. And I'm truly happy with the way my life is headed and the wonderful people I have filled it with.

Today

I talked to a guy on the bus. I never do that. But today, I made an effort. He was adorable. I told him I liked his watch. We chatted for a short time, and then we had to get off at our stop. He was going to visit a friend, and I was heading home. He introduced himself and told me where he worked, and he asked me where I worked and my name. It's all a blur. He was so cute that my mind raced the whole time. I didn't even listen to what he was telling me. I don't remember where he said he worked. We both work downtown though. That's all I know. I was holding my handbag in my right hand, so when I reached out to shake his hand, I extended my left instead of my right. He scolded me in a teasing way: "Don't shake hands with your left. Always give the right." Then, he walked off. Maybe we'll see each other again.

Oh God, No

(Via Home of the Vain)

Need You Now

"Don't Be Offended"

Saturday night, I came home from working at my mom's cake shop, and all I wanted was somebody to chat with, a little conversation with a guy. I responded to a guy's online dating ad with a couple of pictures. This was the response I got:

"fwb? Dont be offended. You're not the type of girl I'd see myself having as a gf...buy you are pretty and have a nice body...maybe we could try some drinks at one of our places and see if we have a physical connection sometime."

Did he really think I was going to be receptive to this pathetic proposal?

Was this a poor attempt at negging?

Why even respond back to me if he wasn't interested? Maybe to try to make me feel bad about myself, in hopes that my low self-esteem would make me want to screw him. Who's to say? It was a real asshole thing to say.

It's no wonder this guy is single. Who would want somebody like that? I'm sure he's been with a lot of girls who have told him "Don't be offended, but you have a small penis."

Baby, Let Me Love You Down

Hope Everybody Had a Good Weekend

I worked a ton, got my hair done, had a great dinner with my cousin, and took a much needed nap today. I didn't get any cleaning done though ughhh!

Hope everybody had a good weekend! The week begins tomorrow. I really wish I had tomorrow off.

Books I Love, Books I Hate

I've been getting back into reading. It's been a while. Sometimes I get distracted by personal issues, being busy, or just lazy, and I stop reading. It's terrible, but I take breaks from it here and there. This is how it's always been. Don't ask me why.

I'm currently reading Cormac McCarthy's, The Road. It's depressing, thought-provoking, beautiful, haunting, bleak, powerful, and if you may not want to read it on public transportation because you might shed a tear. This happened to me today. I had to put it down and check out Facebook on my BlackBerry to erase the tear-jerking scene out of my head. It's an amazing book so far, but it really kills you emotionally.



A book I picked up and then put down 200 pages into it was The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. I had heard so many great things about this book: People had labeled it a well-written masterpiece. It was supposed to be full of humor, intelligence, a satire on the state of American families and all the dysfunction that goes along with it.

So after reading about how incredible it was, I decided to pick it up. First of all, the writing is good, good not amazing. It wasn't life-changing or inspiring. It was decent writing. The storyline is non-existent. The premise is: Let's look at this zany, dysfunctional family's one last Christmas together in the house they grew up.

The characters are two-dimensional: They only exist on paper, and when you try to imagine them as real, flesh-and-blood people, you can't, or at least I can't. The protagonist is boring, but it's evident from the first few pages that the reader is not supposed to think that; in fact, it should be just the opposite. You're supposed to think he's really fascinating, with all his quirks and poor judgment. Fools in literature can be fun to read about, but not this one.

The protagonist is written as a severely flawed character. He is a perpetual failure. Unfortunately, there's nothing interesting about him. His antics are tiresome. There are only so many times you can see a character fail over and over again and think that's entertaining.


So, what is everybody reading now? Which books did you love? Which books did you hate?

Jellyfish Couture

Gorgeous! Who knew sea creatures could inspire such beautiful fashion designs!

Via Trend de la Creme

Dusty Muffin

Thank you for being a friend, Ms. Betty White. But most of all, thank you for hosting SNL and being so awesome on it.



Via Hulu

I'm Taking a Break from Dating

As much as I would like to have a guy right now, especially before summer, I think the more I force it and try, the further away I am from finding somebody. Maybe if you want something too much, you won't get it. It's the Universe's way of telling you to chill the fuck out. I don't know.

I can't seem to meet a guy, so I'm going to focus on other things. I know he's out there somewhere, but he's taking a while figuring out where I am. It's so my luck that my soul mate would have terrible timing and poor sense of direction.

I Was in My Best Friend's Wedding

My girlfriend, whom I've known since I was 12, got married a couple weeks ago. I was a bridesmaid. It was the first wedding I've been in. Great wedding, an amazing couple, and we all had a blast. The photographer was incredible, and I'm using her when I get married, whenever that may be!

Her name is Steph Stevens, and these are the wedding pictures she took that day.

I'm Dabbling in Some Online Dating

I have an issue because I'm shy around guys. I can't give them any eye contact or talk to them. I clam up, and I end up looking like a snob. It's terrible, and I'm trying desperately to get over this. I have a crush on a guy on my bus, but I can't even look at him. I've been pining over him for months.

I've been doing some online dating, and it's too soon to say if it's good or bad. At the moment, the experience is eh. The guys I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me and vice versa. I wouldn't call myself superficial, but I like what I like.

I've gone on enough online dates to know that if you're not feeling somebody's pictures, then you're most likely not going to find them attractive in person. I can usually tell within the first few minutes of meeting a guy if I feel any chemistry or not.

I'm on Match for the 7 day free trial, but I did try Chemistry. Chemistry was probably one of the worst dating websites I've been on. Everybody was unattractive and seemed really pathetic. One guys' tagline was "Few People Like Me." Jesus Christ. One of my biggest pet peeves about that site is that you can't do a normal search for guys. You're stuck with your matches only. How stupid is that!

There's Something So Sweet About This

Love: Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Karen O. is one of the most amazing frontwomen to grace this planet within the past 20 years. I love listening to her unique and beautiful voice.

I Really Want to See This

Lady Gaga

Alexander McQueen: Shoes of Fantasy

God, these are gorgeous in a wonderfully absurd, fantastical way. RIP Alexander McQueen. He was a true fashion visionary.

Via Shiny Style

Just When I Think I Can't Love Jon Hamm Any More

Via Hulu

Outside Over There: My Nephew

This brand new baby, my nephew, is beautiful, with a big, round head, a button nose, and the cutest, little chin I've ever seen. I'm in love with him, and I already told my brother that I can't wait to spoil him. He's truly a vision to be seen, like a Maurice Sendak baby come to life. I told my mom that he looks like one of the baby goblins from the children's book, Outside Over There. Our family is truly blessed to have such a healthy and precious baby.