Apartment Hunting: Volume I

J and I have to move out of our place by the end of August (thank God). I don't think either one of us can take those four flights of stairs any longer. Last weekend, the realtor called me and told me that he was showing the place to a couple who really wanted it after seeing pictures. This was on Friday. I rushed home from work early, busted through the door, immediately started complaining to J about what a shithole the place was. The bathroom was filthy. There were crumbs all over the kitchen counter. The floor needed to be vacuumed. And, my boyfriend's recliner is so gross. It has stains all over it. It reminds me of that show, Frasier and how much he despised his dad's ugly, old recliner. Well, I absolutely detest this monstrosity of a chair. It looks like something right out of a trailer park. We have a nice place, and this disgusting chair just doesn't fit with the whole look I'm going for. Usually about every three months, I'll go off on a rant to him about his chair. I can't wait until we have enough money, so I can finally get rid of that thing once and for all. Mwhahahaa!(evil laugh)

Friday, I was right out of my mind, trying to get the place into tip-top shape for these people. I got the apartment looking so great that even I couldn't believe how warm and inviting it looked. Apparently, the couple couldn't as well, and they decided to take it. Poor bastards. They have no idea what they just signed up for. Four flights of stairs seems great at the time, but then the first time you try to carry groceries up, you're ready to kill somebody by the time you get to the top of the stairs. Also, these people can expect a 7am wake-up call EVERY morning as the restaurant behind the building has their dumpster emptied by a huge BFI dumptruck. Think crashing wine bottles, lots of beeping, and booming. It's really relaxing, especially when you're trying to sleep in on the weekends or even holidays! There was one time the dumptruck got stuck on the dumpster, and we reveled in the dumptruck guy's misfortune.

Now begins another chapter where we have to check out a bunch of places, which are usually overpriced shitholes and get all stressed out because we can't find anything decent. The plan is that we are going to start looking now, so it won't be as stressful and soul-crushing as it usually is. Last Sunday, we drove up to a huge apartment complex outside of the city, where we had agreed to meet the real estate agent. When we got there, we were about an hour early, so we parked the car and observed the people going in and out. Yikes. Let's just say, we were less than impressed with the tenants. It was a downright scary crew, definitely not people you want to be living next to. Needless to say, we didn't stick around. I called the agent and told him it wasn't for us.