Burnt Out from Dating?

Take a break from it. Give yourself a few months to just enjoy your life guy-free without trying to meet somebody. It will be a liberating experience. Pamper yourself. Buy yourself some new clothes, sexy heels, or lingerie to feel good.

Buy some new music. Plan a brunch outing every month with some girlfriends. Take some time out for you. Get in touch with what makes you truly happy. Recharging the dating batteries is one of the best things you can do when you're sick of dating and can't meet anybody decent.

The Beauty in Appreciation

I have a girlfriend. She's in her 30s, has had several tumultuous relationships, has been deeply hurt in the past, has dated her share of losers, alcoholics, moochers, narcissistic guys who didn't care about her feelings; and through it all, she believed that one day she would find a fantastic man. And, she did. When we discussed this new man in her life, I remember something in the conversation that really resonated with me: She said "If I had met him anytime earlier in my life than I did, I wouldn't have appreciated him as much as I do now.

I met somebody recently. I am constantly amazed by how wonderful he is and how well we click together. I know exactly what my girlfriend was talking about. I don't think I could possibly have appreciated him years ago than I do right now. It's as if I had to go through all the bullshit to get to where I am today, to feel what I do for him, to recognize how incredible he is. All I can be is grateful that I found somebody at the exact right time in my life. They say timing is everything, and it is.

I'm So Sick of Being Blamed for Being Single

After two recent articles were published that put the blame on women for not being married, finally somebody wrote a piece that actually made fucking sense.

And so we learned how to expect literally nothing from a man. And do you know what happened because of that? We learned to let men treat us like crap. We came to believe that men were doing us a favor by settling down -- because otherwise they would be out spraying the world of willing women with their abundant seed. We were taught to be grateful if a man showed interest in us, and we became fearful at all times that he would leave us once he did. Women of my generation are still the second-class citizens of fairy tales: only now, we don't even have the chivalry or the ever-blooming roses to comfort us in our eternal boredom.

Read these two shitty articles Brienne Walsh references: Here and Here

Single girls, love yourself and stop the blame for being single and happy, instead of married to some guy you can't stand. In this society, it seems as if women are more accepted if they settle for some guy they don't really want to be with than to wait a few more years, and try to find the guy they truly love. But yeah, you're selfish. You must be some crazy, picky whore who doesn't deserve love anyways.

(Via Huffington Post)

I'm Taking a Break from Dating

As much as I would like to have a guy right now, especially before summer, I think the more I force it and try, the further away I am from finding somebody. Maybe if you want something too much, you won't get it. It's the Universe's way of telling you to chill the fuck out. I don't know.

I can't seem to meet a guy, so I'm going to focus on other things. I know he's out there somewhere, but he's taking a while figuring out where I am. It's so my luck that my soul mate would have terrible timing and poor sense of direction.

Narcissus Called and He Says You're In Love With Yourself

Throughout my online dating adventures, I was contacted by a guy who was extremely attractive, intelligent, and successful. He was the total package, except for one major flaw: he was completely in love with himself. I have never seen anything like it before.

He sent me an e-mail, and I responded, and then he waited quite a while before he responded, several days in fact. However, I would see that he was viewing my profile here and there. It was strange. Usually once you respond to somebody's e-mail, that person does not hesitate to reply back, but he did.

Finally, he replied. And then we chatted on IM. He asked me what attracted me to him, and I said that he was "cute". He was offended by the comment. He said that he was used to women "throwing themselves at him". He said that I didn't seem that into him. Hi, I don't know you! We just started talking! So, the only thing I could go by was the profile and his pictures.

Against my better judgment, I agreed to meet him for drinks. The plan was that he was supposed to e-mail me during the work day and we would iron out the details of the date. He never e-mailed me at work, so instead of waiting around like somebody's lap dog, I made other plans with my roommate.

That night around 8, he called. I let it go to voicemail. He sent me a message through the online dating site. He wanted to go out. I told him I had plans. He told me to cancel them. I told him no, and then he said that he had a back-up date. However, he continued to insist that I cancel my plans. I refused.

He said that if I really liked him, then I would cancel. I didn't. I don't break plans for assholes. In fact, I don't break plans for any guy. I had a life before him, and just because he's in the picture, doesn't mean I have to alter my whole world for him.

The funny thing about this particular guy was the fact that if he was so fantastic and women were throwing themselves at him like he insisted they were, then why was he cruising the online dating sites looking for available women? He claimed he was "selective", but a lot of guys say that to make the woman feel special. These men usually aren't that picky: they're desperate.

In the end, despite this guy's good looks, he became increasingly unattractive to me. He was an arrogant asshole who really thought he was a gift to all women and that they should actively pursue and chase him. F that. I will never chase a man. It's not worth my time or the effort I put into it because whether he realizes it now or not, the one he will end up falling for will be the one whom he pursues.

The Pick-Up Artist Gone Wrong

The other night, my roommate and I decided to grab some drinks at a local bar up the street from us. We sat down at the bar and ordered a couple of Coronas and about twenty minutes later, two guys walked in. Before we knew it, one of them came over to us in a frenetic, yet extremely awkward manner and blurted out: "If you could give up one thing, great food or great sex, which would it be?"

The worst part was he stammered because he was obviously nervous, which made my roommate and I feel really uncomfortable and embarrassed for him. In fact I was cringing, and I couldn't even answer his poll question or whatever it was because my mind had gone blank. The situation was sad, and he obviously felt humiliated and soon left the bar with his wingman aka the silent, timid guy standing next to him.

I decided to research the PUA (Pick-Up Artists) opening lines. Now, just picture some guy coming up to you and a friend, asking you these stupid questions.

Settle this bet for me, ok? If you KNOW you will never get caught, is it cheating?

Guys, quick question. What's hotter: a tattoo, or a piercing?

Do you guys know any good places to dance around here?

Guys. I have a really important question for you. Like, fate of the world stuff. You ready? Bacon? Or ham?

OK, I need help settling this argument. Guys or girls: who kisses better?

How about instead of all this hoopla, a guy comes over with some confidence and a smile and says hello and asks you how your night is going so far. Simple is good. Women respond well to friendly and confident. They don't want to be polled or surveyed. You have a much better chance of striking up a conversation acting normal than you do coming across as a bad TV game show host.

The "I Still Live at Home" Guy

I'm always baffled by these clueless and dependent (see: Mama's Boys) dumbasses. They're always in their late 20s to early 30s, and it's always for the same reason "I'm saving money for a house." No, they're not, but it sure does sound good. And they always put a good spin on their living situation: "Oh, I have an apartment downstairs." Umm, last time I checked this was called your mother's basement. If your mother has to knock before she comes down to do laundry, then it's a basement. If your mother has to call down the stairs for you to come up and eat dinner, then it's a basement.

These men always have decent jobs, and they seem to have their shit together: they don't. They're completely dependent on their mothers. Their mothers do everything for them: cook, clean, make their beds, tie their ties, and do their laundry (of course!). These guys have been babied and breast fed well into their 20s, and they're not weaning off the teat anytime soon. If you date one or worse, end up with one, you will be their new Mommy.

If you meet one of these, don't waste your time. They're immature, financially retarded, and have no understanding of the adult world as we know it. There are many guys out there who have apartments, pay their own bills, and even make their own beds, so why bother dating ones that don't? Save yourself the aggravation. Date real men, not boys.

The Craziness Continues

This month has been absolutely insane. There's been so much going on in my life. This past weekend, I went to NYC to hang out with two of my favorite people in the whole wide world. It was amazing, and we had such a wonderful time. My girlfriend, Jaime, and I stayed at my friend, Ash's place in the upper East Side. We spent every night at a famous NYC hangout where old-school celebrities, authors, photographers, and the intellectual elite come out to play.

Every night was an adventure, and I got the chance to meet fascinating people. It was a much needed escape for me, and it was the perfect opportunity to catch up with my old friends and have a blast. Saturday was spent having brunch at Sarabeth's in the upper East side. The food was phenomenal. I had the french toast, and they were out of this world. The mimosa was good, too, and it came with its own mini-bottle of champagne, good enough for 2 mimosas. I was a happy girl.

Saturday night, Jaime and I ordered two bottles of wine at dinner. I drank about 3/4 of a bottle, and I suspect Jaime drank the rest. I was smashed.

Being as intoxicated and stupid as I was, I drunk texted the young guy at 2:30 in the morning. He texted back. I think he was just as drunk. Who else would text somebody back at 2:30 in the morning, except another lush, right?! Then, I texted him the next day to apologize for waking him up: no response! Argh, this is why drunk texting is never good because you will always end up texting a douchebag who doesn't deserve the time of day. Always.

Oh, and this is days after I e-mailed this 23 year-old idiot and told him that he was being "retarded" and to either be my friend or don't, but not to treat me like some chick he had met in a bar because I was better than that and he knew it. To which he sent me this e-mail about how he was "trying to figure things out" and how I was an "amazing woman" and that he was "grateful" to have my friendship. Whatever. Actions speak louder than words, so from this day forward, this supposed friend of mine is on my shit list.

He texted me one word last week: "Friday?" And apparently, it meant that he wanted to hang out this past Friday, but I couldn't because I was going to NYC. This guy is a dipshit. I'm done even thinking about him. He's too young, and I need to focus my time and energy on guys who are adults and not children. I am all set.

Sunday night was a phenomenal night: we saw Mr. Big sitting a couple tables down from us, and yes ladies, he's as gorgeous in person. Jaime and I tried our best not to freak out and remain calm, but it was tough not to just run over to him and jump on his lap and lick his face. Every time we heard him laugh, we had to keep it together. Neither of us was thrown out and no restraining orders were filed, so mission accomplished.

One of the best quotes of the night came from Jaime at the end of the night, who was completely shitfaced because every guy and his brother were buying her drinks, texted a cute guy she had met at the restaurant: "I know you have a girlfriend, but I want you to know I'm easy like Sunday morning." It doesn't get any better than that! Another example of drunk texting gone horribly wrong.

My Love Life is a Ball of Suck

The only thing really to say about it is:

Maybe he's just not that into me
Maybe he still has feelings for his ex
Maybe he needs time
Maybe he's too fucking young
Maybe it's a combination of all of the above

It will be so nice to date a man again. Dealing with a little kid for the past couple of months has been frustrating, to say the least.

And, the suckiest part is that I like him. I think it comes down to bad timing. He hasn't experienced life yet, and I can't fault him for that. In 5 years, he's going to be an amazing guy.

Anybody else having a shitty love life?

Love Will Make You Nutso

I am convinced that falling in love will make you go insane. How do I know this?Because my girlfriend is really into this guy she's seeing, and she's become f'ing crazy! She's constantly focused on his every move: where he is, what he's doing, who he's talking to, and when she's going to see him again. It's seriously exhausting just listening to her talk about it.

As a good friend, I listen to the craziness and because I love her, I tolerate the borderline psychotic texts/e-mails/IMs from her, asking me to analyze every bit of minutiae of their interactions with each other. She's become a stalker, and I'm not sure how that even happened. She thinks about this guy morning, noon, and night, and every hour in between.

And if he's not texting her every hour, then she's freaking out, asking me if I think there's something wrong. She's become a mental case, and I'm not even sure how it happened. This is a smart, funny, and beautiful woman we are talking about here, and before this guy came along, she had a full life, so where did it all go wrong? She fell in love, and too soon, I might add. She's only known him for a month. Can you really fall for somebody in such a short time?

The romantic in me says "Of course!", but the realistic side in me says "No way!" I tell her she's nutso, and she laughs, but I think she's really lost her marbles with this one. I'm all for losing yourself in love, but this is more like Fatal Attraction sans a bunny being boiled.

I don't know, maybe I'm being too hard on her. She does really like the guy. Who am I to say that she's acting like a weirdo, since I'm not in her situation. All I know is as much as I would like to fall in love again, I want to keep my sanity. That's possible, right? We've all heard the saying "crazy in love", but does it really make you lose your mind? If so, then I'm good with my love life the way it is: uncomplicated and even fun, at times.

Image by Nikola Tamindzic via Home of the Vain Tumblr

Men: No ROR

I've dipped my foot in the dating pool again, and it kind of sucks. It's not that I've gotten rejected or anything like that; it's that men have no ROR (aka no rhyme or reason). They make no sense. And the moment I find myself getting annoyed or slightly hurt, I put myself in the shoes of a man and think "What's my motivation right now?" Nine times out of ten, I don't have an answer.

I'm talking to a guy, and so far we've been on ONE date, so I don't really think of us dating. I think we're still in the talking phase with one date under our belt. We text back and forth every day. Some days, he texts me good morning, and when I get used to that routine, he texts me only at night. And when I'm accustomed to that pattern, he rarely texts me that day. Then, the next day, he texts me several times. Now, is this the pattern of some mastermind lothario who is trying to screw with my mind? No, this is just a guy, who gets distracted easily. I'm pretty sure a shiny ball could roll by him, and he would chase after it.

Meanwhile, I'm going out of my head: "Why hasn't he texted me? Does he still like me? Where is he? Why haven't I heard from him this morning? What's his deal?" It's ridiculous, but we women are wired differently from men. We need constant attention, and we need to think that they are thinking about us. Men, on the other hand, pop in here and there, sometimes often, sometimes rarely, and there's never a pattern they follow. It's frustrating. That's why we just have to accept it for what it is: men being who they are - MEN.

There's no rhyme or reason with what they do, so it's pointless to stress about it. Besides stress causes wrinkles, and who needs that. Put your phone away, go to the gym or go shopping with a girlfriend, and do your best to get your mind off the guy who may or may not be texting/calling you.

Maybe He's Just Not That Into You...

Shit, a ton happened this week:

I started talking to a guy I met online. He's super cute, and he has a great personality, at least over text, phone, and e-mail. We were supposed to meet for dinner and drinks tonight, but he canceled. I don't really know him, so it's too soon to tell if he blew me off or it was a legitimate excuse...

Work put up all these new firewalls, so not only can I no longer go to my favorite websites like Gawker and Jezebel, but I can't even go to my own frigging blog! Oh, and don't even get me started on how I can't access Facebook either. They're really cracking the whip, and it sucks. Now, I have to wait until I get home to talk to my FB friends.

There are a ton of layoffs in the works at my company, and everybody is sweating it, including me. Because you just never know...

Last night, I took the commuter rail from Boston to visit one of my best friends who lives in Western Mass. We had a blast: drank wine, watched the mag reels and commentary for Tropic Thunder, headed out to a restaurant for some drinks and dinner, then met up with some of her friends at the movie theater to see He's Just Not That Into You. Yes, I'm such a stereotypical girl, I know.

It was a great movie, and I loved all the little storylines. My favorite was the one involving Gigi, played by Ginnifer Goodwin (she's adorable), as the really sweet girl looking for love and not being able to find it anywhere. I think we can all relate to her on some level.

Bradley Cooper is in it, and he's smoking hot, but he plays a super douchebag, so although you want to make mad passionate love to him, you also want to punch him in the balls and throw him down a set of stairs. Also, for all the really big fans of the book, the author, Greg Behrendt, makes a cameo.

The theater was packed with women (big surprise, ha) and about 5 dudes that were obviously dragged there by their girlfriends. They looked miserable. Ladies, don't bring your guys to chick flicks, unless you're secretly punishing them for making that comment about your ass; otherwise, bring your girlfriends.

There was a group of women behind us, and they had big, husky voices like they all smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and they sounded like Marge Simpson's sisters, Selma and Patty. Every now and then, you would hear one of them nudge their friend and loudly blurt out "Ohhh, that's so you, Linda!" Listening to them, my girlfriend and I couldn't stop cracking up. It didn't help that we were three sheets to the wind before we even sat down either.



Left my girlfriend's today to get back to Boston for my date and it didn't even happen. Attention Guys: We know you're clueless, but could you please call or, at the very least, text us to say you can't go out? Don't wait for us to call you to confirm plans. Not cool. I could've spent an extra night with my friend having fun, just sayin'.

Turn Me On: How to Attract Men

I just ordered this book online last night, and I can't wait to read it. It's gotten great reviews. I'm curious to hear from a guy's point of view what exactly guys find attractive. I'm rusty at meeting men, and I'm clueless at this stage in the game what really attracts a guy. There, I said it. I have zero game. I see a cute guy on the T, and he looks over at me, and I freeze up and turn away. I'm the worst at this type of thing. I'm good at giving dating/relationship advice, but when it comes to myself, I'm useless! It's a miracle that I've met as many men as I have, by being so inept at flirting and getting a man's attention.

Does anybody else have this problem? Or, am I the only loser out there who can't make eye contact or smile at a guy!

Taking Back the Power

I met up with one of my girlfriend's for dinner, and because I'm currently suffering from a cold, called it an early night. I cabbed it back home, and found myself in an empty apartment, sick with a bad cold with nobody to take care of me (my ex had gone out for the evening), and I realized although I've been reconnecting with old friends and family and having a great time with them, I have to admit, I'm kind of lonely.

I haven't been on a date in years. It would be nice to meet up with a guy and flirt and have fun again. It's been so long. I look around and pretty much everybody is with somebody: most of my friends are in serious relationships or have just met somebody. I want that, too.

I can't remember the last time somebody showed me any affection or told me I looked pretty. I stayed in a relationship longer than I should have where I was just a shadow. I felt invisible most of the time, as if I didn't matter; I was a ghost. Sometimes I was so starved for attention that I had to ask him to hug me. I was lonely, sad, and felt hopeless every single day. I would roll over on my side at night and cry myself to sleep, and all I could do was hope that tomorrow would be better. It never was.

I asked a good friend of mine, a guy, to go out with me last weekend, just so I could have fun and dress up and feel good about myself. But for whatever reason, he acted like he didn't want to be there, or he did, just not with me. He criticized my outfit, my style, and even made a comment about one of my blog posts, telling me how it wasn't written well. I'm not sure what his deal was.

Maybe he felt by cutting me down, it would keep me from falling for him or something. I've been trying to wrap my brain around it all week, and I still can't figure it out. I only see him as a friend, so I'm not sure why he had to act out, so as not to lead me on. I don't get it. And, I'm not so much mad, as I am disappointed, because I consider him a dear friend whom I've known for years.

But, I did my best to keep my head up, because all his criticizing was not going to bring me down. I wouldn't allow for that to happen. No fucking way. I've had too many men in my life think they could overpower and bully me by emotionally abusing me. And you know what? That shit doesn't work anymore.

I've been called a "bitch" and a "c-nt" or how I wasn't thin enough way too many times by asshole guys who all supposedly loved me, and I will never again tolerate it or have it in my life.They can go fuck themselves. I'm better than that. I'm stronger than that. And, I don't want that.

I'm taking back my life and my happiness. I want to find somebody who will treat me well, somebody who won't scream at me or throw things, somebody who will show me how much he loves me, and somebody who will appreciate me for who I am. I'm not going to settle for bullshit anymore, abuse, or being with somebody who doesn't put any effort into the relationship. I'm done.

I'm moving on. And hopefully, I will find that guy someday, wherever he may be. The only thing I can do is put myself out there and wait, but at the same time, sit back and enjoy my life. Even through the bouts of loneliness, I feel immense happiness that I'm finally free from all the pain of the past.

And if you ever find yourself a victim of emotional abuse in a relationship, just know that you are not the problem. It stems from his issues, not yours. He tries to hurt you to make himself feel better. Stay strong and don't let his words break you. My best advice is: walk away if you can, and if you choose to stay, stand up for yourself. Don't let anybody ever bring you down, even if they say they love you. Take back the power once and for all.

The Booty Call vs. The Guy Friend

I was discussing this with one of my girlfriends today, who just happens to be dealing with this situation: I know I've been out of the dating scene for a few years now, but can a guy friend be a booty call as well? Or does it have to be one or the other?

It's 2009, so haven't we women figured out yet how to have casual, commitment-free relationships with the opposite sex that don't get too complicated? Let me guess the answer! Not on your life.

So, if one has a guy friend, and she wants to e-mail him and text him whenever, then that's fine, but if she hooks up with him, then all of a sudden, she has to play stupid "girl runs away so boy will chase her" games? Ugh, that is ridiculous.

My girlfriend says that this guy keeps her at arms length, even though she doesn't want anything serious with him. She also said that before anything physical happens and they're just hanging out together, it's awesome and they feel comfortable with each other, but as soon as something physical goes down and the sun comes up, it's as if the whole room screams "FEAR OF INTIMACY". She said it's like those words are scrawled all over the walls in red magic marker.

Last time, she jumped out of bed early and tried to sneak out, but he caught her before she could get the door open. She told me:"I fucking hate that feeling of awkwardness and that lingering fear of intimacy vibe. I get out as soon as I open my eyes. I don't get it. It's really dumb, and sometimes I want to scream at him, I've known you for 6+ years! Look, I don't want to date you. So, just relax!"

She said the thing that sucks is they're good friends, but sex complicates things. Each person involved, whether he/she likes it or not, is playing some pseudo-sexual power game of chess. For the time being, she wants to have her cake and eat it, too, so this is what she has to deal with until some brilliant woman cracks the code on how to make a friend with benefits scenario actually work.

And, this is one of a myriad of reasons why I'm quite content being single and dateless.

New Years

This NYE, I decided to spend it with my brother, my brother's girlfriend, my brother's loud and obnoxious friend who looks as if he originated from Middle Earth and thinks he's funny, but he's just ignorant and retarded, his lovely and pleasant wife, and my brother's Pit Bull who thinks he's a person, even though he's a massive sized dog who could tear your throat out and maul your remains in a drop of a dime, not that he would, but he definitely has the capabilities.

The dog's name is Apollo, and at one point in the evening when my brother and his friend went to get the Chinese food, Apollo decided that he really liked me, like really liked me. I was sitting on the couch, and he jumped up, and climbed on me, and I was scared, not because I thought he was going to hurt me, but because I didn't want him to rip my new sweater that I had received as a Christmas gift. I tried to jump up, but he had climbed onto my back and was umm, trying to mount me. My brother's girlfriend and the other girl were standing frozen, as they laughed hysterically watching me being sexually assaulted by a dog that resembles one of the Terror Dogs from Ghostbusters who guard the gates for Gozer the Gozerian.

I was able to break free and ran to the other side of the room, but he followed me and latched onto one of my legs with his extra strong Kung-Fu death grip. My brother's girlfriend was roaring with laughter, and she had to run to the bathroom because she was pissing her pants. It was hilarious, terrifying, and yet, I was strangely flattered that the dog liked me so much that he wanted to have puppies with me. It was the most action I had seen in months!

He finally calmed down, especially once my brother came home. The next day, Apollo and I spent the day watching movies and cuddling. I think we're dating now. I'm not sure. He said he would call me.

Colette on BitchBuzz: Sex on the First Date

I wrote an article for BitchBuzz this week about sex on the first date. Is it a good idea or not? I tend to think it's not the best thing to do, but I know there are many people who would disagree with me. They have the right to their opinions. When I mentioned the article to my boyfriend, he said: "Once you have sex on the first date, there's nothing left to do but start fighting."

I once saw a Kids in the Hall sketch where a man and a woman meet up at her apartment. He says: "Let's skip the dinner and get right to the sex." She says: "Let's skip the sex and get right to the guilt."

So, why skip the innocent part about dating? Sex can wait, can't it? Think before you jump into bed with some guy you may want to have a relationship with in the future. Sleeping with somebody too soon can prevent the relationship from developing. Some guys get stuck in hook-up mode, and they stop trying to get to know you. Sex can complicate budding relationships, so why take the risk?

Via BitchBuzz

The First Date: To Pay or Not to Pay

Judy McGuire, Seattle Weekly's resident dating columnist, answers some cheap dude's question about how come women are supposed to be so evolved and yet they insist men pay for them on dates. Ugh, I hate guys like this. They miss the point, entirely. I thought Judy's response was good, but it sparked quite a few comments. Apparently, this is a real hot bed issue. Who knew!

"Why is it that career women who claim to be "independent" and "liberated" suddenly become "traditional" when the dinner check comes? Women claim to want "equality," but shirk that equality when it's time to pay for the mating ritual. Can you explain logically why so many women want to enjoy both the gains of feminism and the benefits of Victorian traditionalism?...[blah, blah, blah]

And why, when women have become so financially successful, are men expected to buy a woman an engagement ring, but women are not expected to buy a man anything? Do you think a good solution would be to require a woman to buy an equal gift, or to do away altogether with the tradition of engagement rings?"

Judy's response:

"...So yes, if you want to argue that young, white, college-educated women living in cities that you pretty much have to be loaded to afford in the first place should spring for their own empanadas, I'm right with you. In fact, I have no problem at all paying for my own meal—never have, even if the dude makes more than I do. But don't try to tell me there's no wage gap. Perhaps in your rarefied world there isn't, but for the rest of us out here it's real—and really fucking annoying.

But I can't speak for all women. As I mentioned, I'm happy to pay my share (and then some) on a date. However, many if not most women feel different. They expect a guy to shell out, at least on the first date. And you're certainly allowed to disagree with that.

Here's a crazy idea: If you don't want to pay for dinner or drinks, don't offer. When the check comes, whip out your pocket calculator, figure the tip, and tell her how much she owes. (That doesn't mean you should itemize the bill. Even if she ate more and had a dessert and a third Slippery Nipple, just split it down the middle.)

Nor am I one of those broads who dreams of a giant engagement ring that costs three months' salary, or whatever bullshit figure the diamond industry is currently touting. If he wants to get me something that costs thousands, I'd rather have a car or a down payment on a house—or about a bazillion other things that don't involve sparkly rocks.

However, some of my best friends have fancy engagement rings, and I don't begrudge them that. Shiny gemstones make them happy, so how is that any skin off my (or your) ass? Just find a girl who doesn't give a shit. We're out there."

This guy is a jackass. Feminism and Victorian traditionalism have nothing to do with going on a date and having the guy pay. Guys should pay on a first date because it shows the woman that he gives a shit, or at least cares enough, to dole out some money. What men don't understand is this separates the good guys from the losers. Want to make a good impression on your date? Then, pay for her. That doesn't mean you have to take her to a five-star restaurant, but if you can't pay for a couple of drinks and maybe an appetizer, then you have some issues. Most likely, you are as emotionally cheap as you are financially. I've never met a good guy who didn't pay for a date - ever.

And he wants to get rid of engagement rings. This guy sounds like a real winner. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. "Oh, I don't believe in engagement rings. It's sexist, and it promotes 'Victorian traditionalism'". To which his fiancee responds: "You've got to be kidding me. Now you listen to me. You're going to go out and buy me an engagement ring, you cheap fuck, or I'm not going to marry you. So, save the cherry Life Saver ring and heartfelt promises and shove them up your ass. And another thing, if you ever use the term 'Victorian traditionalism' again, I'm going to dump your sorry ass and tell everybody we know that you have a teeny-tiny penis. You got that, Mr. Moneybags?"
"Uh, ok."

Colette on BitchBuzz: The New and Improved Jerk

Last week, I wrote an article for BitchBuzz about a new breed of your typical jerk. He'll love you and leave you, and he won't give it a second thought. These people are emotional sharks. Don't get too close, or they will tear your heart to shreds.

(Via BitchBuzz)

Former Naked Dater

I was going through my Photobucket album, and I came across the old logo to my former online dating column, Monique Dating Naked. Colette is my middle name! I'm not sure who came up with the name, Monique Dating Naked. I'll be honest. I think it might've been me. It's pretty ridiculous, I know. I think my editor and I were looking for a name that would best convey sexiness and the candid advice I doled out to my lovelorn readers. The logo cracks me up. The funniest part is they even had t-shirts ha ha. God, I wish I had bought one.