The Booty Call vs. The Guy Friend

I was discussing this with one of my girlfriends today, who just happens to be dealing with this situation: I know I've been out of the dating scene for a few years now, but can a guy friend be a booty call as well? Or does it have to be one or the other?

It's 2009, so haven't we women figured out yet how to have casual, commitment-free relationships with the opposite sex that don't get too complicated? Let me guess the answer! Not on your life.

So, if one has a guy friend, and she wants to e-mail him and text him whenever, then that's fine, but if she hooks up with him, then all of a sudden, she has to play stupid "girl runs away so boy will chase her" games? Ugh, that is ridiculous.

My girlfriend says that this guy keeps her at arms length, even though she doesn't want anything serious with him. She also said that before anything physical happens and they're just hanging out together, it's awesome and they feel comfortable with each other, but as soon as something physical goes down and the sun comes up, it's as if the whole room screams "FEAR OF INTIMACY". She said it's like those words are scrawled all over the walls in red magic marker.

Last time, she jumped out of bed early and tried to sneak out, but he caught her before she could get the door open. She told me:"I fucking hate that feeling of awkwardness and that lingering fear of intimacy vibe. I get out as soon as I open my eyes. I don't get it. It's really dumb, and sometimes I want to scream at him, I've known you for 6+ years! Look, I don't want to date you. So, just relax!"

She said the thing that sucks is they're good friends, but sex complicates things. Each person involved, whether he/she likes it or not, is playing some pseudo-sexual power game of chess. For the time being, she wants to have her cake and eat it, too, so this is what she has to deal with until some brilliant woman cracks the code on how to make a friend with benefits scenario actually work.

And, this is one of a myriad of reasons why I'm quite content being single and dateless.