Bad Advice

Lately, I've been checking out some online advice sites/forums, where women discuss their love issues. I'm blown away by some of the negativity and coldness of some of this advice other women give each other. There are a lot of inane "he's just not that into you" statements, which is fine if you're Greg Behrendt and you're saying this four years ago, but this is 2009: can we please come up with another catchphrase? Please!

These women come online because they're in stressful situations with the guys they like, and yet, the other women on the site are completely insensitive and make nasty, judgmental statements. My mom always taught me that there is a way to say everything in a nice way. I'm really sick of reading various women's questions and the non-thinking, trite answers that soon follow.

I've been giving advice for years, whether it's been to friends, co-workers, family, etc, and I can tell you the moment you start saying "You know what you should do," then you're already doing it wrong. People ask for advice because they don't know what to do; they have turned it over in their minds over and over, and by asking you for an opinion, they are showing you that they really need help.

So, why make them feel bad about themselves? Why turn condescending on them, or act as if you are judging them? Be their friend, listen to what they have to say, and most importantly, be gentle with their feelings.

I read these websites, and I'm horrified by the brutal "tough love" approach taken by these women: women, who I might add, have probably made the same mistakes, have been heartbroken, cheated on, or are in horrible relationships. And yet, they act as if they are better than everybody. "He's just not that into you!", they exclaim. Dump him and move on. Ok, great advice. However, never once do people take into account on how hard that can be sometimes.

A woman who is in love with a man or living with a man cannot just dump him and move on without really tearing apart her life, not to mention her heart and soul. So, why be so harsh?? Isn't there a way of saying these things without being so insensitive and cruel? The whole point of giving advice to somebody is to make them feel better, not worse. I'm really disgusted by these despicable, heartless bitches who don't understand that.

Maybe He's Just Not That Into You...

Shit, a ton happened this week:

I started talking to a guy I met online. He's super cute, and he has a great personality, at least over text, phone, and e-mail. We were supposed to meet for dinner and drinks tonight, but he canceled. I don't really know him, so it's too soon to tell if he blew me off or it was a legitimate excuse...

Work put up all these new firewalls, so not only can I no longer go to my favorite websites like Gawker and Jezebel, but I can't even go to my own frigging blog! Oh, and don't even get me started on how I can't access Facebook either. They're really cracking the whip, and it sucks. Now, I have to wait until I get home to talk to my FB friends.

There are a ton of layoffs in the works at my company, and everybody is sweating it, including me. Because you just never know...

Last night, I took the commuter rail from Boston to visit one of my best friends who lives in Western Mass. We had a blast: drank wine, watched the mag reels and commentary for Tropic Thunder, headed out to a restaurant for some drinks and dinner, then met up with some of her friends at the movie theater to see He's Just Not That Into You. Yes, I'm such a stereotypical girl, I know.

It was a great movie, and I loved all the little storylines. My favorite was the one involving Gigi, played by Ginnifer Goodwin (she's adorable), as the really sweet girl looking for love and not being able to find it anywhere. I think we can all relate to her on some level.

Bradley Cooper is in it, and he's smoking hot, but he plays a super douchebag, so although you want to make mad passionate love to him, you also want to punch him in the balls and throw him down a set of stairs. Also, for all the really big fans of the book, the author, Greg Behrendt, makes a cameo.

The theater was packed with women (big surprise, ha) and about 5 dudes that were obviously dragged there by their girlfriends. They looked miserable. Ladies, don't bring your guys to chick flicks, unless you're secretly punishing them for making that comment about your ass; otherwise, bring your girlfriends.

There was a group of women behind us, and they had big, husky voices like they all smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and they sounded like Marge Simpson's sisters, Selma and Patty. Every now and then, you would hear one of them nudge their friend and loudly blurt out "Ohhh, that's so you, Linda!" Listening to them, my girlfriend and I couldn't stop cracking up. It didn't help that we were three sheets to the wind before we even sat down either.



Left my girlfriend's today to get back to Boston for my date and it didn't even happen. Attention Guys: We know you're clueless, but could you please call or, at the very least, text us to say you can't go out? Don't wait for us to call you to confirm plans. Not cool. I could've spent an extra night with my friend having fun, just sayin'.

He's Just Not That Into You: The Movie

He’s Just Not That Into You, the novel and dating bible of the 21st century, is now a feature film starring Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston, and Ginnifer Goodwin. I really enjoyed the book. Like every 20 and 30-something woman out there, I read it when I was single and dating every loser on the planet. My mom bought it for me after one of my many break-ups. She dropped it down in front of me as if to say, “Here’s a hint for you. Stop wasting your time with guys who don’t want to give you the time of day.” I think I read it a few times. I carried it with me everywhere I went as if it were some talisman to ward off bad dates.

I’m confused how you can make a movie out of a dating guide, but I will be curious to see how they do it. I'm sure romantic hijinks will ensue. The yentas who wrote The Rules must be pissed.