This past week, I wrote an article about the new fall movies coming out. There are quite a few good ones on their way out to theatres near you. I'm looking forward to seeing Zach and Miri Make a Porno and The Curious Life of Benjamin Button especially.
Back when I was a little girl watching this, I remember thinking this was really weird then. Watching it now, it's even more disturbing. And what's up with the creepy guy dressed in the knickers and sunglasses who morphs into the different landmarks. Yeesh, this is frightening. It's no wonder my generation is so fucked up. Look at the shit we were subjected to at a young age.
"I think I'm lost."
If by lost, you mean tripping your ass off, then yes. Yes, you are.
Work has been crazy busy. I can barely find time to write for BitchBuzz, nevermind this blog. I'm so tired when I get home lately that I just plop down on the couch and melt into the cushions. My body is worn out. My mind is exhausted. I love my job, but this week killed me. I'm so happy that it's finally Friday. I can finally breathe, write in my beloved blog (which by the way has been getting a lot of hits), and spend some quality time with my guy.
It's supposed to rain this weekend, so we're going to the movies tomorrow. We're seeing Choke. I read the book this past year, and I loved it. I'm really looking forward to grabbing some hot, buttery popcorn and watching it with J. It's going to be a lazy day tomorrow, and I can't wait. I feel like I didn't spend much quality time with him. He goes to bed early, and we only have a couple hours on the weeknights to see each other. I'm a night owl, and he's an early bird. We're total opposites, but somehow we make it work.
Jon Hamm aka Don Draper from Mad Men will be hosting Saturday Night Live October 25. I'm jumping for joy right now. He's going to be awesome. I can't wait to see the Mad Men parody. (Via NY Mag)
SNL's "The Looker" (Fred Armisen does a great Penny Marshall impression). I thought it was the best sketch of the night. (Via Hulu)
Two guys pretend to passionately make out in front of Lehman Brothers in NYC and CNN is there. Ok, did anybody else realize that these two guys were from The Howard Stern Show?! It's Richard and Sal the Stockbroker. (Via Best Week Ever)
"The Way": a "god"-awful Christian, really frightening and embarrassing, dance number featured on The Soup. I love "The Mail Nurse" segment. (Via The Soup Blog)
Janet Jackson's new tour is all about S&M, and it's creeping me out. (Via Scandalist)
Hugh Hefner's #1 galpal, Holly Madison, is most likely hooking up with magician/cheeseball extraordinaire, Criss Angel. Apparently, witnesses saw them kissing last weekend in Vegas. She's going to get cut out of Hef's will, fo sho'. (Via Perez Hilton)
BEFORE This was part of her photoshoot with Complex Magazine, and the pictures are about as skanky and unappealing as you can get. Aubrey is only 24 years-old, and she looks like she's well into her 30's. She looks like rough trade. What is she doing with her career?! Danity Kane is a pop group, which means little girls listen to their music, so then why the hell is she one step away from spreading her legs for Hustler at this point! What is wrong with this girl?! She used to be beautiful, and now she's all cut up, injected with big silicone implants, and her collagen lips are gross.
Please, stop. Aubrey, sweetie you obviously really need men to find you sexy, which is sad. We get it. However, this isn't sexy, it's just trashy. You look like a stripper, and I don't mean that in a good way. You look like a stripper with a serious drug addiction who has been on the pole for 10+ years. Lay off the plastic surgery, find a therapist to work out your "Daddy never told me I was pretty" issues, and please for the love of God, stop letting people interview you.
This week was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Plus, I was swamped at work. I was so glad to finally leave for the weekend. These past five days have felt like an eternity. I spent the night, relaxing and watching season 2 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. That show is so funny. I needed to laugh. I needed to veg out on my couch, while I fed treats to Peter. Sleep will be good. I'm burnt out.
I haven't laughed in about a week, so when I watched this video of a little guy I'm going to call "Jaws Kitty", I was very happy. I laughed, and it felt great. Notice the black eyes. Cats are so weird when they get interested in something: their pupils dilate. They look all cracked out. They're strange little creatures, but I love them.
There's a new show on VH1 called Glam God, and it's basically a bunch of people who are competing to be the next big celebrity stylist. There's one guy named Joachim who is permanently shit-faced. I want to walk up to him and say, "Uhh, I think you're on the wrong show. The auditions for Intervention are that way." He drinks morning, noon, and night, and he's a total asshole who's in major denial about his problem. If that's not bad enough, he has an alter ego (yuck) named "Jackie Blue". Jackie Blue is gross, extremely intoxicated, sloppy, disheveled, and looks like a hooker from Hunt's Point. This is a clip featuring Joachim incessantly talking about Jackie Blue and then, Joachim as Jackie Blue. I hope you have a strong stomach. Watching a gay man in very bad drag as he slurs and stumbles around in 7-inch platforms and has facial hair is not my idea of "fabulous".
As I was perusing my favorite blogs the other day, I came across an amazing artist on Susannah Breslin’s intelligent and sexy blog, The Reverse Cowgirl. His name is Anthony Ventura, and his mind-blowing prints are featured at a limited time through Sexy Art Gallery in London. They are simply amazing. He uses rich colors: blood reds, midnight blues, and cotton candy pinks to create moody, eye-catching pieces. Some are part of a fetish series, and these are erotic and provocative without being the slightest bit vulgar. His art is created through a variety of methods: painting, drawing, and computer. Ventura’s prints are Renaissance meets Alice in Wonderland. Each painting is a dream world, concocted of larger than life characters where surrealism and eroticism mesh. His females are tantalizing, stunning, albeit dangerous Botticelli-esque goddesses: their bodies are voluptuous; their facial features are exaggerated as if blow-up dolls; and their gangly, serpentine legs seem to be never-ending appendages. Ventura’s women are the queens who rule over his strange and fascinating psychedelic universe, and he is their god.
This is Preston from The Greatest American Dog. He's one of the cutest things I've ever seen, and I want one just like him. He's a white Pomeranian, but he's groomed like a little wolf, aww. And, how frigging adorable is his little turquoise mohawk! I'm pretty sure once we get our own place, this is going to be the dog I get.
Speaking of dogs, J and I are watching my mom's dog named Pandy on Sunday thru Monday. He's really cute. He's a Shih-Tzu Bichon Frise mix. We're very excited to have him because he's a total sweetheart. I just hope he gets along with our cat, Peter. They're about the same size, so hopefully, they'll befriend each other. One can only hope...
Danny Kelly is one of my wiseass friends from back in the day, and he's one of the funniest people I've ever met. He's sarcastic, crude, and doesn't give a shit if you're offended. I've seen him many times, and he's been awesome every time. He knows how to work a crowd, since he's been doing it for 12 years. He's opened for Jim Norton, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Howie Mandel. He's from Boston, but he's living in New York now, and I wish him the best of luck. He also does some great 80's material for all those who can appreciate a good "Jake Ryan" reference or familiar with Michael J. Fox's sneakers in Back to the Future.
I have been a huge Mark Rothko fan, since I took an Art History course in college. That's why I was so delighted to see one of his paintings (still trying to figure out which one) in Mr. Cooper's office on Mad Men. During this episode, Jane called the art "smudgy squares", but it's so much more than that. Rothko uses the juxtaposition of different colors to evoke an array of emotions and moods. As much as I love his brighter paintings, there's something so haunting and magnificent about his darker, moodier pieces. Some of you may just see blurry blocks of color, but from what I hear, the only way to appreciate one of these paintings is to see it in person. Somebody online described the colors "vibrating". If I were lucky enough to have any piece of artwork, it would be a Rothko. For some reason, his art moves me because I find it so breathtaking. I'm considering buying a print for my bedroom.
And, if anybody knows the name of the painting featured on Mad Men, please let me know.
I hate the word "e-mail". I hate the fact that every time I open my Outlook inbox, there is some new and horrifying personal e-mail. I'm having a personal crisis, if you couldn't tell, and life sucks, and I can't stand that everything was brought on by "e-mail". I keep on closing my inbox because I'm sick of seeing that little envelope pop up in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen, as I dread seeing the latest e-mail that will make me feel worse than I already do. Life really sucks today. I just want to go home, hug my cat, and cry. Maybe tomorrow will be a better e-mail day.
Now that I have cable again (don't get me started...we still don't have DVR because Comcast is the worst fucking company ever), I'm able to watch all my shows again. Million Dollar Listing was entertaining as always. I'm starting to like Josh Flagg more and more, not because I like him as a person, but he's so funny to watch. He walks like a butler; it's the strangest thing. He's so stiff and awkward. There's a scene where he's celebrating his birthday with "150 acquaintances", and then the next scene, he is back in his hotel room, in an oversized robe, blowing out the candles on his birthday cake by himself. He's so strange and weirdly robotic, but I love him just the same.
I saw last week's I Love Money :The Spit Olympics, and it was great. The Entertainer ended up as Paymaster, and even though Meghan was on the chopping block, he sent the 30-something stripper, Heather packing because he thought after 12 Pack left, she had turned on him. Heather is looking rough these days. She needs to lay off the cigarettes and booze and go for a moisturizing facial ASAP. She always looks permanently hungover and dehydrated. I rented the first season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's such a funny show, and I'm sure not many people know about it. It's warped, politically incorrect, but the whole ensemble cast works really well together. The show is one of the funniest on TV right now, and I wonder how they come up with the scripts they do because they're so out there. Also, watch for Brittany Daniels as a tranny named Carmen. You will be shocked, horrified, but I guarantee you won't stop laughing.
Oh, and the piece de resistance of my weekend viewing: Mad Men. Each episode tops the next. As my good friend Al said: "This was a brutal episode." Don got called out on his affair with Bobbie Barrett by her husband, Jimmy, but not before Jimmy made the "Look at us at the kids' table," comment to Betty, and then said, "I wonder what happened between the two of them." Betty acted all shocked, but she knew it was true. "The Gold Violin" was such a pitch-perfect name for this episode. What did you think the "gold violin" was a metaphor for?
The VMAs were god-awful. Russell Brand was not funny, and at times, he didn't seem to even try to be funny. He was just hosting. J called it. He was terrible. The show was boring.
We moved last Saturday, and we just got cable installed yesterday because Comcast is probably one of the worst companies I've ever had the intense displeasure to ever come in contact with. They screwed up our installation appointment, and then blamed us (saying we cancelled - we didn't), and then we were able to reschedule, but they could only fit us in yesterday. The guy shows up, and he doesn't have the DVR we ordered. He said it's not on the work order. J tries to get another one today at the Comcast store near his work, and the woman was a total bitch to him, so he left. They have the worst customer service out there. There's an actual website out there called Comcast Sucks, ha.
I've been without cable for a few days. We had been stuck watching the basic channels, and it was rough. There is NOTHING on at night. How many times can you watch Dr. Phil confront a hoarder or a pedophile who may or may not be molesting his son? I'm thrilled to have cable again. I watched the last episode of Mad Men last night - so good! I feel as if all is right again in my little pop culture world. If only we could get Direct TV and cancel Comcast, then things would be perfect.
This is a roundup of the shortest, hottest celebrity guys I did for BitchBuzz. I had no idea Daniel Radcliffe was so short! What these guys lack in height, they make up for in adorableness. Behold the top 10 list of these diminutive dreamboats!
Wtf is up with the really ugly picture of Keira Knightley on this month's issue of Vogue? Now, I'm one of the few women who actually like Keira, but is it just me, or does she look like a chemo patient in this photo? She's a gorgeous woman, and they've made her look horrible. She looks like she was sick with the flu for a few days, didn't bother showering, and then showed up to the photo shoot. What is going on with her hair?! Is it in a bun? Is it chopped for a new movie? And, couldn't they have thrown a wig on her or something!
Somebody who is extremely clever, funny, and may have too much time to waste created a hilarious post on Oh No They Didn't. It's a montage of pictures of Christian Bale juxtaposed with pictures of Kermit the Frog in the same pose! It's fantastic, and I almost fell out of my chair laughing.
We packed. We moved. We unpacked. I woke up at 9:30 this morning, had a great breakfast cooked by J, and then I went back to bed. I slept until 4 in the afternoon! I was so exhausted from the last few weeks of packing and getting ready for the move. I needed to catch up on some much needed sleep. I feel like a whole new woman. Tomorrow is the first day of the work week, and I'm looking forward to a longer commute, where I can catch up on some reading, listen to my iPod, or just drink my iced coffee and relax. Being further up on the line means it's less crowded, and I have a better chance to grab a seat than I did before.
Our apartment is awesome. For the first time in a long time, we feel like we're home. It's roomy and sunny, and I love looking out our window and watching people walk by on the sidewalk. Before, we lived on the 4th floor, and it was overlooking an alley. There wasn't much to look at, besides the occasional pigeon or seagull. We live on a side street, and there's a lot of foot traffic, since we are only a couple minutes away from the train stop.
The bedroom is huge, and J and I no longer have to share a closet. We each have one! We're very happy here. It feels good to finally be comfortable in our home. No more stairs, no more trash truck every morning, and no more feeling as if we don't belong there. This place is everything we've ever dreamed about. And, Peter likes it too. He's always staring out the window at the people on the street, and he purrs. I don't remember the last time he purred. Maybe he finally feels at home, as well.
