The Best of Craigslist

Craigslist is one of those great sites where you can buy a car, rent an apartment, find a boyfriend, and nail a hooker all in a day's time. The Best of Craigslist is a medley of all the weird, wacky, and usually very funny ads that people post. They will shock, disgust, but I guarantee you will laugh.

To the tranny that blew that guy on the 49 bus last night"So thanks for hopping on that very crowded bus, sitting 2 feet from me and making out with the goofy looking guy. That was odd, but no big deal. But when I looked over and your head was in his lap I was like -- "Are you fucking kidding me, you are now going to blow him?".

Why I'll be the Best 'Psycho' Ex-Girlfriend You've Ever Had!

In the sobering light of morning, you'll forget that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and instead opt for a "two-night stand" but you'll quickly realize that I am having none of that and somehow weasle my way into staying over, cooking breakfast and reading your newspaper. I will also have conveniently brought my toothbrush and some sanitary products which I quickly store in your bathroom cabinets since 'I'm going to be spending a lot of time at your place.' Your Maxim magazines will go from the top of the toilet to the bottom of the wastebasket because I find them 'offensive' and 'immature.'

Baby Bird

Emotion

There's a lot going on in my life right now, and it hurts like hell. Every day, I seem to feel a different intense emotion. I'm at the point where I'm exhausted, broken hearted, and overwhelmed by the flood of thoughts, feelings, and the little voice crying out from inside myself.

Don Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women

Best sketch from SNL last night. Jon Hamm was the best host of the season. He was amazing. It didn't phone it in like a lot of actors and actresses. He made an effort, and it showed. Also, who would've known he did such great impressions!

It's a Mad Men Weekend!

This is an action-packed Mad Men weekend with Jon Hamm hosting SNL tonight and the season 2 finale tomorrow night. So, I figured I would make this an all Mad Men Colette's Love Bytes weekend!

- Tonight, Jon Hamm is hosting SNL. I'm super excited to see him because I think he's a fantastic actor, and unbeknownst to many, he has a terrific sense of humor. Just check out the August 2008 Interview magazine's interview with Jon, conducted by his good friend, Paul Rudd. Absolutely hilarious.

- NY Mag did a Don Draper likeability index using a period appropriate scale (likeable is JFK as unlikeable is to Nixon), starting from season 1 up until the last episode of season 2. Good stuff!

- And because NY Mag seems to be as obsessed with Mad Men as me, Emily Nussbaum wrote a great article on how Joan's rape ultimately changed the tone of Mad Men's nostalgic first season and how the women were portrayed. Joan started out as a strong, sexual character, but with her rape, she becomes a vulnerable and rather tragic person. Interesting take on it, and it's definitely worth a read.

- Alan Sepinwall, brilliant TV columnist for the NJ Star-Ledger,(his Mad Men recaps rock my world), interviewed Mad Men creator, Matthew Weiner about the season 2 finale. Don't worry he doesn't give away anything!

- The Simpsons annual Treehouse of Horror episode premieres on November 2nd, and it features a Mad Men-esque opening credits montage showing Homer falling through the sky, passing by skyscrapers covered in billboards and advertising imagery. The segment is cleverly titled "How to Get Ahead in Dead-vertising". This is why The Simpsons is so brilliant because it never stops satiring current pop culture.


- Ever wonder where the Mad Men locations are supposed to be in NYC? Well, thanks to Gridskipper, you'll find out where Rachel and Don met for their first client meeting, where Pete and Trudy's 2 bedroom apartment is located, and where Don and Roger have their booze and oyster-filled lunch. This is the ultimate Mad Men guide to New York.

- On the AMCTV Mad Men blog, each week Matthew Weiner does a short video called "Inside Mad Men", where he describes his analysis of the episode, each focusing on a specific theme. This is the one he did for last week's episode "The Mountain King":

Marilyn: The Things She Left Behind

Beautifully written article about the items Marilyn Monroe left behind after her tragic and untimely death. God, she was amazing. Her beauty and luminescence were incomparable. Angelic, and yet a sex goddess. A woman, and yet a lost child, eternally looking for love in a lonely and sad world she didn't understand.

Marilyn Monroe’s death received front-page coverage throughout the world. Gay Talese reported in The New York Times that the number of suicides in New York a week after her death hit a record high of 12 in one day. One suicide victim left a note saying, “If the most wonderful, beautiful thing in the world has nothing to live for, then neither must I.” Truman Capote, writing from Spain, recorded in a letter, “Cannot believe that Marilyn M. is dead. She was such a good-hearted girl, so pure really, so much on the side of the angels. Poor little baby.” Billy Wilder, while loudly complaining that it had been taxing to direct her in The Seven Year Itch and Some Like It Hot—two of her greatest and best-loved movies—recalled that it was “worth a week’s torment to get … three luminous minutes on the screen.” In Italy, Sophia Loren broke down and wept. Joshua Logan, who directed Monroe in the film version of William Inge’s Bus Stop, paid her the ultimate compliment when he compared the “dumb blonde” character she created to Chaplin’s Tramp, one of the great comic inventions of the 20th century.

(Via Vanity Fair)

Life

Life happens when you're making other plans. - John Lennon

No truer words have been spoken.

Weird, But Cool

Liz McGrath is an incredibly talented artist, but you have to admit, she's a little touched in the head. Can one find beauty in what it is bizarre and grotesque? Sure they can. However, crazy shit is crazy shit, and this art takes the cake. I like it, and yet, it leaves me scratching my head saying, "What the F am I looking at right now?" You have to wonder how she comes up with the ideas she does. Her pieces are slightly nightmarish. Do you think people come over to her house and are immediately freaked out by the batshit crazy menagerie of sculptures? Or are they probably just used to wacky Elizabeth and her "unique" artwork?

(Via Boing Boing via Elizabeth McGrath)

Mad Men: The Mountain King

This past episode was fascinating for a few reasons: we finally got to see who Don had phoned in last week's episode (The Jet Set), we learned who the blonde woman was from the car dealership where Don used to work many years ago, the power vs. dominance theme threading through it, and the literary allusion to Peer Gynt. The name of the episode is called "The Mountain King, and "In the Hall of the Mountain King" is the name of the orchestral piece in the Henrik Ibsen play, Peer Gynt. This is the same piece that the little boy is playing on the piano at Anna's house.

A little about Peer Gynt: Peer Gynt is the son of a successful farmer named Jon Gynt. Jon Gynt blows all his money on and is forced to leave his family and become a wandering salesman. Peer is regarded as a failure in his family, thought to be foolish, and his mother scolds him for having an overactive imagination. She mocks him for losing his chances of marrying the daughter of the wealthiest farmer around. The daughter is to be wed the next day, so Peer goes to the wedding in hopes that he can still be with her. His mother follows him so she can prevent him from making a complete fool out of himself, but it is too late.

The wedding guests laugh at him. He is a joke. There, he meets a family of outsiders, and he is immediately attracted to their daughter. She wants nothing to do with him. He ends up running away to the mountains with the bride instead. Because of what he's done, he has to venture further into the mountains, as his mother and the outsiders' daughter searches for him. On his travels, he meets three lusty milk maids. He drinks with them all day, and the next day, he has to face his terrible hangover. He ends up bumping his head on a rock and faints, and this is the exact point in the play when his dream takes place, which will last through all of the second act.

In the dream, he meets a beautiful woman, dressed in green; she is the troll mountain king's daughter. She takes Peer to the mountain hall where her father, The Mountain King, makes a proposition: if he marries his daughter, he will make him a troll. Peer ends up turning down the offer and leaving. And his adventures continue. At the end of the play, Peer asks, "What is it to be one self?", and he discovers that the answer to his question is simple: "to overcome one's self".

Don Draper/Dick Whitman vs. Peer Gynt
- They are classic anti-heroes.
- They were both born on a farm and both ridiculed by family.
- They both ran away with the bride: Peer escaped into the mountains with the bride from the wedding, and Don married Betty to get away from his former life. Or, some could even say, he "married" the real Don Draper's wife, becoming a surrogate husband, providing her with the all the things she needed in her life, just so he could go on living his life as Don.

- The three lusty milkmaids could be compared to Midge, Rachel, and Bobbie. Peer drinks with them all day and has to deal with the consequences, in this case, a hangover. Don cavorts with them and then has to face the repercussions, in this case, the deterioration of his marriage and his family life.

- The "Mountain King" and his daughter are the European man, Viscount Willy Monteforte, and his daughter, Joy. If you also remember, the first time Don sees Joy, she is wearing a green dress. The troll mountain king's daughter is clad in green when she meets Peer.
- The Europeans (Trolls) offer Don a life to be one of them, in this case, nomads who wander the world. Having Joy would be just one of the perks, just as marrying the king's daughter would sweeten the deal of Peer becoming a troll.

- The theme of Peer Gynt is "the self", and one could say this is a major focal point in Mad Men.

Lavazza Coffee Ads

These ads for Lavazza Coffee are so gorgeous. I would love to get these made up into prints and frame them. I'm a big sucker for anything with red, white, and black. I absolutely ADORE them. Click on them to take a closer look. As Rachel Zoe would say: "I die!"

The Beauty of Stillness

I'm home tonight, watching reruns of Sex and the City (back when it was entertaining)and chilling with Peter. I love quiet Friday nights, especially since I've been so busy during the week. Friday nights are a great opportunity for me to de-stress and decompress. This is my special night where I can put my feet up, watch TV, read a book, or work on my blog. I think everybody should have one night out of the week when they relax and let the stress of the week melt off their bodies. It's healthy to have a little time to yourself. Life moves so fast, might as well spend a little bit of time taking a breath.

Britney's New Video: Womanizer

Horrible song, but she looks really good. I guess that's what a shitload of plastic surgery and liposuction will do for you. Good for her, though. Her body looks fantastic. And yeah, she's completely naked in a sauna.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Day Man

One of the funniest scenes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Notice the silver spray paint all over Charlie's nose. Hilarious.

Most Terrifying Blog Ever: Moms 4 Sarah Palin

I don't like Sarah Palin. I don't like what she stands for, her "oh golly gee/gosh darn" way of speaking, her nasty remarks regarding Barack Obama, and that whole "pitbull with lipstick" comment. I can't stand her, and I think she is completely unqualified to be the Vice-President (shudders at the thought). That being said: Some woman in "oh golly gee/gosh darn" land created a blog, defending Sarah Palin and promoting her dumbass ideologies.

From Moms4SarahPalin:

Join me in the fight against the liberal media and in support of this amazing woman now running for Vice President of the United States of America alongside Senator John McCain. The attacks have been vicious, relentless, and uncalled for. I am more energized than ever about my Republican party!

Attacks that are vicious, relentless, and uncalled for? Hmm...you mean like making statements about Obama "palling around with terrorists", or by allowing hateful outbursts and signs that defame somebody's character during McCain/Palin rallies? No, those aren't vicious, relentless, and uncalled for, are they?

It's frightening that people actually think this woman is worthy of the Vice Presidency. There is not one thing that has come out of her mouth that has impressed me or even interested me. Proof that idiots think other idiots are smart.

And if this website isn't nauseating enough, you too can have your very own "pitbull with lipstick" t-shirt.

Eww. I'd rather wear one that says "I Fuck on the First Date" or "Who Farted?"

Colette on BitchBuzz: Sex on the First Date

I wrote an article for BitchBuzz this week about sex on the first date. Is it a good idea or not? I tend to think it's not the best thing to do, but I know there are many people who would disagree with me. They have the right to their opinions. When I mentioned the article to my boyfriend, he said: "Once you have sex on the first date, there's nothing left to do but start fighting."

I once saw a Kids in the Hall sketch where a man and a woman meet up at her apartment. He says: "Let's skip the dinner and get right to the sex." She says: "Let's skip the sex and get right to the guilt."

So, why skip the innocent part about dating? Sex can wait, can't it? Think before you jump into bed with some guy you may want to have a relationship with in the future. Sleeping with somebody too soon can prevent the relationship from developing. Some guys get stuck in hook-up mode, and they stop trying to get to know you. Sex can complicate budding relationships, so why take the risk?

Via BitchBuzz

Bulls and Bears: Jim Cramer Gives America Some Advice

Holy shit! What is the world coming to if Jim Cramer is telling people to pull out money from the stock market!? He said to pull out money you might need in the next 5 years as soon as friggin' possible. Jim Cramer doesn't look good: he looks like he hasn't eaten or slept in days, and is it just me, or does he seem like he's ready to have an emotional breakdown? I'm just waiting for Suze Orman to crack, and then you know we're completely screwed.

And the next person who utters the expression "201(k)" is going to get a bitch slap. Yeah, we get it, the economy sucks. You don't have to make up goofball puns, regarding our economic futures. K, thanks.

Watch the video via Gawker

The First Date: To Pay or Not to Pay

Judy McGuire, Seattle Weekly's resident dating columnist, answers some cheap dude's question about how come women are supposed to be so evolved and yet they insist men pay for them on dates. Ugh, I hate guys like this. They miss the point, entirely. I thought Judy's response was good, but it sparked quite a few comments. Apparently, this is a real hot bed issue. Who knew!

"Why is it that career women who claim to be "independent" and "liberated" suddenly become "traditional" when the dinner check comes? Women claim to want "equality," but shirk that equality when it's time to pay for the mating ritual. Can you explain logically why so many women want to enjoy both the gains of feminism and the benefits of Victorian traditionalism?...[blah, blah, blah]

And why, when women have become so financially successful, are men expected to buy a woman an engagement ring, but women are not expected to buy a man anything? Do you think a good solution would be to require a woman to buy an equal gift, or to do away altogether with the tradition of engagement rings?"

Judy's response:

"...So yes, if you want to argue that young, white, college-educated women living in cities that you pretty much have to be loaded to afford in the first place should spring for their own empanadas, I'm right with you. In fact, I have no problem at all paying for my own meal—never have, even if the dude makes more than I do. But don't try to tell me there's no wage gap. Perhaps in your rarefied world there isn't, but for the rest of us out here it's real—and really fucking annoying.

But I can't speak for all women. As I mentioned, I'm happy to pay my share (and then some) on a date. However, many if not most women feel different. They expect a guy to shell out, at least on the first date. And you're certainly allowed to disagree with that.

Here's a crazy idea: If you don't want to pay for dinner or drinks, don't offer. When the check comes, whip out your pocket calculator, figure the tip, and tell her how much she owes. (That doesn't mean you should itemize the bill. Even if she ate more and had a dessert and a third Slippery Nipple, just split it down the middle.)

Nor am I one of those broads who dreams of a giant engagement ring that costs three months' salary, or whatever bullshit figure the diamond industry is currently touting. If he wants to get me something that costs thousands, I'd rather have a car or a down payment on a house—or about a bazillion other things that don't involve sparkly rocks.

However, some of my best friends have fancy engagement rings, and I don't begrudge them that. Shiny gemstones make them happy, so how is that any skin off my (or your) ass? Just find a girl who doesn't give a shit. We're out there."

This guy is a jackass. Feminism and Victorian traditionalism have nothing to do with going on a date and having the guy pay. Guys should pay on a first date because it shows the woman that he gives a shit, or at least cares enough, to dole out some money. What men don't understand is this separates the good guys from the losers. Want to make a good impression on your date? Then, pay for her. That doesn't mean you have to take her to a five-star restaurant, but if you can't pay for a couple of drinks and maybe an appetizer, then you have some issues. Most likely, you are as emotionally cheap as you are financially. I've never met a good guy who didn't pay for a date - ever.

And he wants to get rid of engagement rings. This guy sounds like a real winner. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. "Oh, I don't believe in engagement rings. It's sexist, and it promotes 'Victorian traditionalism'". To which his fiancee responds: "You've got to be kidding me. Now you listen to me. You're going to go out and buy me an engagement ring, you cheap fuck, or I'm not going to marry you. So, save the cherry Life Saver ring and heartfelt promises and shove them up your ass. And another thing, if you ever use the term 'Victorian traditionalism' again, I'm going to dump your sorry ass and tell everybody we know that you have a teeny-tiny penis. You got that, Mr. Moneybags?"
"Uh, ok."

Colette on BitchBuzz: The New and Improved Jerk

Last week, I wrote an article for BitchBuzz about a new breed of your typical jerk. He'll love you and leave you, and he won't give it a second thought. These people are emotional sharks. Don't get too close, or they will tear your heart to shreds.

(Via BitchBuzz)

Mad Men: The Inheritance

For all you die-hard Mad Men fans out there, what did you think of last night's episode? I thought it was really well-written, and I love seeing Helen Bishop's son, Glen (played magnificently by Matthew Weiner's son), interact with Betty Draper. At one point, he was wearing Don's white t-shirt, and he was sitting next to her, and it was almost as if he had taken on the role of her husband. It was sweet, especially the way Betty was on the couch next to him, sipping a Coke out of a straw and holding his hand.

It seems as if Betty is just a child, and sometimes Glen seems like the adult. It's a strange relationship, and there's so much sadness between the two of them. They are both lonely, and somehow they find comfort within each other. They are soul mates, in some strange way. I would love to think that in 15 years, they will somehow find each other again. I don't see her relationship with Don lasting. He obviously doesn't love her, since he cheats on her all the time; not to mention, he's completely in love with Rachel Menken. Betty deserves somebody wonderful and who will love her with everything he has. Maybe adult Glen could be that guy for her.

Also, did you see how Betty was snapped back into her adult reality when Carla and her children came back to the house? She let go of Glen's hand and changed back into adult Betty. That's when she called Glen's mother, Helen, and had her come to the house to get her "lost" son. He had wanted to "rescue her", and he told Betty how much he hated her, to which Betty said "I know." For one fleeting moment, Glen had Betty all to himself. She was his girl, and nobody could take that away from him.

Any thoughts on this episode?

Candy Cane Chic

Viktor & Rolf, two Amsterdam designers who just released their special online fashion show, starring the beautiful and willowy, Shalom Harlow. She appears as every model, and it's kinda cool to watch. This dress was the first look, and my favorite, by far. There's just something so fun and whimsical about it. It's kind of like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas meets high-fashion. I don't understand my love for this dress, and I don't expect anybody else to get it either. I'm starting to think if I were famous, I would be one of those women who was constantly in the "What are they wearing?!" sections of the gossip rags. My stylist would try to dress me in something refined and elegant, and I would insist that I was going to show up to the premiere, dressed like a candy cane going to a nightclub.

Watch Viktor and Rolf's innovative and fascinating online fashion show

Quote of the Day: Chuck Klosterman

I'm currently reading Chuck Klosterman's, senior writer for Spin and pop culture intellectual, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs". It's a great book, and I had read it once before, but I don't really remember reading it, so it's kinda like I'm reading it for the first time, which sometimes happens to me after I've read a book too fast. I fly through it because I love it so much, but I don't soak any of it in. Does this happen to other people, or am I a total moron?

Klosterman writes about women's obsession with John Cusack, The Sims, Pamela Anderson being this culture's equivalent of Marilyn Monroe, etc. Good stuff, and he's very funny.

This is one of his quotes from NY Mag, back in March:

You used to be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it's between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know."

No truer words have been spoken. Chuck Klosterman is my hero. He's smart, funny, and knows everything there is to know about pop culture.

How To Be a Playboy Playmate

Radar has a great article about the Playboy mansion, the lifestyle, and how to be a Playmate. Apparently, this scandalous information was given to Radar by a former magazine employee. According to this secret source, Holly was a wanna-be who hung out in the mansion, but she wasn't pretty enough to grab Hef's attention. So, the desperate blonde gave herself a full cosmetic make-over, and then Hef liked her.

Ironically, when number one girlfriend Holly first met Hef, she had dirty blond hair, small boobs, and was a bit chunkier. Even though she partied Playboy-style at the mansion, Hef never paid attention to her, no matter how hard she tried. Holly thought she would change things up and make herself into what he wanted. She bleached her hair, lost some weight, added on a few assets, and before she knew it, she was calling him Puffin.

Sounds like a great relationship.

Another juicy tidbit: Hefner let a tranny service him after a party. The guy is so old that he probably thought it was a real woman. Eww.