This Pissed Me Off

Today at work as I was walking to the printer, a fellow co-worker called my name from a few feet away to alert me that my blouse had ridden up on the side. Who cares?? It's not as if my ass was hanging out of my pants or a nipple was exposed. Relax. At first, when I heard her say my name, I ignored her because she annoys me anyway. Then, she said my name even louder and motioned to me that I was exposing two inches of skin. I pulled it down, and gave her a sarcastic thanks. I wanted to pull my shirt up and tie it in the front, so I was exposing my midriff and then prance past her desk, but I thought that might be inappropriate. It's not as if my fly was down. It was just a love handle peeking out. Big freaking deal. Ugh, I hate people sometimes.

The Bachelorette

Why are people still watching this show? I guess the bigger question is: "Why are they still making this show? It's terrible. I caught an episode last night, and it was god awful. How many times can you hear successful, grown men talk about their feelings and their "journeys". Do these men attend Bachelorette Speak 101 before they film? Every single guy on this show comes across as a bad Match.com profile. Everybody says the same thing..."I'm ready to find love. I'm looking for my soulmate. I want to embark on this journey to find the one." It's like these men were implanted with a chip that makes them all say the same cliched things. The most humiliating moment of the show is when they all stand in a lineup in front of the bachelorette while they await a rose. The men stand there looking worried and as if they really care if this woman (they don't even know) gives them a rose. The men who do not receive roses give their final interviews, stating how disappointed and hurt they are by her decision. Give me a break! This show is complete drivel. The men are obviously coached by the producers to act a certain way, and it shows. They don't come across as suitors; instead they seem more like Stepford bachelors.

Robert Muraine - So You Think You Can Dance

No words can really capture what this guy does. You have to see it for yourself. I've watched it about 10 times, and I'm completely blown away every time.

The Great Escape

Escapism. You always hear people talk about how they're trying to "escape" from something, whether it be bills, stress, work, children, or even relationships. We spend thousands of dollars on massages/facials, extravagant vacations, overpriced drinks at the chi chi lounge in town, or even food. We use so many different things to escape the bitter reality of life. It seems as if everybody is too busy trying to escape from their everyday lives that they are unable to really experience their lives as they are.

I've tried to use things to escape. I've had times where I thought I could drink my sorrows away. I've also booked a fabulous vacation where I didn't have to think about anything but where I was going for my next meal and which outfit would look the best. I've had massages/facials where for a few moments, all my worries slipped away. However, reality hits you as soon as you sober up, fly back home, and walk out to pay for your luxurious massage.

I've always surrounded myself with people who want to escape from the world. They spend their lives in a false reality. I don't know why. Maybe there's a part of me that wants to escape too. I used to love going to clubs. I always said it was a fantasy: the lights, the people, the music, etc. It was beautiful and intense. The experience of clubbing was like nothing in the world, and for one brief moment all my problems had disappeared. The next morning, I would wake up - depressed and longing for the night before. Everything had been so perfect. And, yet nothing in my real life was even close to that. The night before had been just a mirage in a desert of longing and sadness.

As I got older, I learned to face my life, my worries, my faults, and all the stresses of everyday. I spent less time "escaping" and more time dealing. I discovered that the bright lights of the club are beautiful, and the music is haunting, almost magical, but it's not what life is all about. I met so many tragic figures in clubs, so many people who were lost souls, constantly searching for their salvation. I had to move on. Now, I have a solid job, found a great guy, have a wonderful famiy I love dearly, plus the best cat with 1/2 an ear; that to me is a good life. I don't need to escape from anything anymore. For the first time in my life, the beautiful things around me are real.

The Real World: Hollywood

I don't know how it happened, but I started watching MTV's The Real World: Hollywood. It wasn't by choice. Like most reality TV shows, I got completely sucked in. This is a show where you don't like any of the people, and yet you continue to watch week after week. The stereotypes parade through like some kind of sketch comedy show. There's the stripper with the heart of gold, the alcoholic, the southern belle, the middle class priss, the laid back guy with the dreads, the misunderstood black guy, and the all American guy. They argue, go out drinking, behave like idiots, punch walls, make ignorant comments, and hook up with each other. They make bad choices, which in turn makes for great television. Take for example the guy who goes to the bar with his roommates and tells them he "used to" have a drinking problem. So how do they react? They offer him a shot; and when he says no, the all American guy tells him that he'll watch him so he doesn't overdo it. Great idea. I'm sure that will go well. Fast forward to 3 hours later, and the problem drinker is crouched down in front of their Hollywood pad sobbing uncontrollably. I thought that guy was watching him!

There's also the stripper with a warrant for assaulting her ex-boyfriend or the girl who hooks up with one of her roommies only to discover that she's not the only one he wants to sleep with? There's also the outsider. He isolates himself from the group, and I don't blame him. I'm pretty sure he's the only sane one in the house. If I had the choice to hang out with a guy who drinks a whole bottle of White Zinfandel and then threatens everybody in the house or taking a stroll by myself, I would be power walking my way to the other side of California.

I don't know where the producers found these people. I'm guessing they didn't make the "Next" and "Shot of Love with Tila Tequila" cut.

It's Been A While

I just wanted to check in and say hi. I'm having some computer issues at the moment, so I haven't been able to post. I'm at work right now, and I only have a little bit of time. I'm super busy at work these days. Life has been crazy, and unfortunately not in a good way. I'm hoping life calms down soon. It's been too much for me to handle. It's a very personal situation, and I pray to God that things change for the better. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on my happiness and taking care of myself. It hasn't been easy, but I feel as if the light might be finally shining through the darkness; unfortunately it's still soon to tell.

This past weekend, I spent some much needed quality time with my wonderful mother and my friend. We got our hair done, and then had a fabulous dinner. I had a great time, and it really brightened my day. There's nothing better than hanging with my favorite girls. Our hair came out gorgeous, and I was so relieved that I was able to find a great stylist. I was a little gun shy since the mullet incident a few months back. It took forever to grow back. My boyfriend was afraid I would go to the hair salon and come back with short hair again. He said every time I go, it gets shorter and shorter haha.