My girlfriend, Nicky, just e-mailed me this real dating profile from Plenty of Fish. This guy brings bitter to a whole new level. What I want to know is who is replying to this holier-than-thou, hate-filled, poor excuse for a man? This is bitter online dating dude's profile. You have to see it to believe it.
"Well I have been a member here off and on for a month. All I can honestly say is this place is a joke. Why? Because of the same people (read losers) that are here day in and day out. Christ is this a dating site or is it a site for fat, unemployed, single mothers to gather attention?
News flash: Want to know why there are no good men active on this site? Easy. The good men can see right throw all the trailer-trash, has beens, attention seekers, baby factories, uneducated, and women on medication. Why you ask?:
1. Most women here cannot even form a complete sentence in their profile. Nor can they be truthful and honest about themselves.
2. I see women on here with 30 or more favorites? Are you here for a popularity contest or to find a date? It is obvious that these women have low self esteem and get their kicks by watching that little digit increase each day. If you cannot find a mate out of the 30 men that have as a favorite or 60 emails that you received and ignored, then something is seriously wrong with you. Let me say it again. Something is wrong with you the female. If 30 men email you and none of them are "good" enough for you. Sure. You are better and more deserving then the 30 that emailed you. They are all scum and you prime cut deserving much better. Keep thinking that. Sadly this must be said to the women with 100 or more favorites as they cannot figure it out themselves. Yes you are a whore.
3. A good majority of the women have no clue what average is, or for that matter thin or athletic. You claim to be average but the flab hanging from your arms is telling us guys the truth.
4. Rude snobs. I grew up being taught to be respectful. Not sure were most of these women grew up, but if someone takes the time to email you in good faith, you at least give a response. Although this is a blessing in disguise If a woman does not have the common courtesy or is adult enough to reply even if she is not interested, then she is not worthy of being in a real relationship with any form of a real gentleman. Kids play hide and seek, not adults.
5. While you may think different; most respectable men want nothing to do with a women having children out of wedlock. God forbid women with two or more children out of wedlock from different fathers. You are spoiled goods, get over it, and get lost nobody wants you. Good lord if there just so happens to a woman that comes along in this place without children. It is a miracle. Sure you had a child while married and later divorced. Such is understandable, sh*t happens. Even you are almost as rare as the woman without child. This place is full of degenerate baby factories. Want to know why you never see women without children on this site? Because they are normal.
6. What in the living hell does it mean "Prefer not to Say" selected for "have children"? You know most men assume that the court or DSS took them away. Go take your meds and delete your profile please.
7. It only takes a couple of minutes to see the same women on different sites throughout the internet. There are even specialized search engines just for such. So she has been on 4 different sites for the past 2 years. Sure sounds like a real winner there. I would be ashamed if I was a woman and could not find a compatible match within 3 months online. Come on now. Most of these women here are bottom of the barrel. They should grateful with any man that pays them attention. Yet they seem to be addicted thinking that some miracle will happen and John Travolta will fly in just to take them out on a date.
8. Women will say in their defense here that men are pigs. Sure they are. Want to know why Einstein? Because they take women for what they are worth. This site is full of born losers who are desperate for any sort of attention at all. You and you alone have proven to them, by being on this site 24/7/365 that you are pretty much worthless as a woman. Sure some of the smoother ones play along with your game, pretend they are serious, bang ya and dump you. This is a meet market and you are the low grade meet. What more would you expect? Seriously?
9. Some college? What the hell does that mean? Does that mean you drove by "Some College"? Did you attend AA in the college basement?
10 Pictures? I could care less what your dog looks like or you ex boyfriend. The most laughable ones are the ones with a woman and 10 guys in the picture. Ya just the type of girl I want to settle down with. Even better are all the ones that take pictures in a mirror. Why do you just not put a sign in there stating that you are lonely, desperate, have no friends and have to take self portraits.
11. I love these women. I call them "I deserve the better profiles" Imagine a single mother, baby factory, short, smoker, overweight and 34 years of age. Yet they are looking for a man 25 - 34. Look lady you should be grateful if anything with a heartbeat emails you let alone a younger man. Get real. Then there are the ones who hide it a little trying to go 10 years younger and 5 years older. These are a clear sign that the woman is out of touch with reality and should be passed over. Best one I saw was a woman 46 looking for a man 24 to 39. Problem was she had a son that was 25. Not sure if she was looking for a date or a playmate for her son. Kicker was she was a fatty.
12. Tattoos. I love women with tattoos. Why? Because real gentlemen know right off the bat to ignore them. Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. I love the profile with the title "Classy women looking for a classy man". Open it up and there is a picture of a woman with a tattoo on her breast. Actually I hate opening these profiles as it entails cleaning the coffee off my computer screen.
13. Profiles all in capitals. Thanks for yelling at me before I even got to know you. Goodbye.
14. Women who put "My children come first in my life". Oh great because I was thinking that the default being that women hide their kids in dumpsters and beat them after they come home from the welfare office. Thanks for stating the obvious.
15. Women who are on a dating site but not looking; as they are in a relationship and only here to keep contact. Contact with who? Men they are trying to date/screw you? Thanks for letting us know you are a whore so we will know to look out for ya when your current partner dumps you next Thursday.
First Date
16. Now this one puzzles me. Seriously. Women must think men are dumb or they are just plain ignorant themselves. Hard to call. With that said: Why would a woman put on this site "Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter" yet any man can go right over to one of the adult sex sites and find the same exact women looking to be gang-banged next Saturday by 4 guys and a 2 transsexuals?
17. Pictures with kids in it. Great know we know that you are a baby factory right off the bat and can move onto the next profile. Granted I never did see a divorced women post pictures of their kids. I guess they are more normal and know better.
18 Profiles with only face pictures in it. I like these because they tell real gentlemen "move along nothing to see here". Why? Because it means automatic fatty. Does not matter that they selected average.
19. Marital status: "separated". This usually means an easy score. They are just out and ready to go. Good for only a one night-stand though. Who wants to deal with a needy woman and kids as they go through divorce. Honestly I am staring at a profile where the lady says she is separated, yet the male "Must not be married". WTF?
20 "Mixed Color hair" What in the heck does that mean? I never saw such on a drivers license application. I can only assume from such that you work at a place that deals with some type of chemicals and there was an accident involved.
21. "I just turned 28 last week" text in their profile. Huh? Your profile up top says you are 30? Oh wait. I see. You have been on here two years and not found a mate and too lazy to update your profile. Onward.
22. "I am a very independent woman" text in their profile. Next.
23. "I am a busy lady but I can always make time for people I care for". Gee really? All for me? Wow how nice of you. Goodbye.
22. "I honestly feel that Mr. Right is out there for me" No shit. Most likely he was in one of the 98 emails you ignored while dreaming that Brad Pitt was going to come along and browse your profile, email you and sweep you off your feet.
23. "N/A" selected next to "Do you have a car". Ya real tough one their. Either you own a car or you do not. Or are you saying you forgot? To me it means "I own a car but cannot drive thanks to Mr Police Officer and the breathalyser". Click.
24 "N/A" selected for "Smarts". Self explanatory. Next
25 "Tired of the creeps in this place" That is like the meat wagon driver saying he is tired of the dogs chasing after the wagon. There is an obvious reason why. If tired of them then leave. Oh wait. See attention whore above.
26 "I'm attractive and intelligent" Yes thank you for telling me such but would you mind letting me decide for myself? I can see your pictures and and score your grammar myself.
27 "I have a cat" or posts a picture of their cat.....Turn off the computer and RUN AWAY.
If interested email me. Thanks."
I'm sure the e-mails are pouring in...
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