Meet the Cheap Guy

Dating, when done right, can be a wonderful experience. Two people who like each other go out and engage in fun activities. It sounds pretty good to me. So, why aren’t more people doing it? Why has dating become such a bad word? I have two words for you…cheap guys.

Dating takes effort and money. Cheap guys withhold both. The cheap guys of the world have convinced single men and women that dating is outdated and useless. How many times have you heard a guy say: “I’m not into dating. It’s too much pressure. I like to just hang out with a girl and see how it goes.”? Hmm…let me decode this for you. “I want to get laid, but I don’t want to spend any money or go anywhere. Maybe I can get her to fall for the old ‘let’s just hang out and watch movies’ line.” Ladies, next time a guy tries this line, insist that he come over to your house. Then, invite 10 girlfriends over. When he shows up, he’ll be surprised to see a whole slew of girls watching Love Actually and sobbing uncontrollably. If he seems annoyed by the situation, just smile and say, “Oh, I thought you wanted to hang out and watch movies.”

Watching movies at some guy’s house does not constitute a date. Women deserve to be taken out and romanced. The guy who thinks he can just pop in a DVD and order a pepperoni pizza on your “date” is not worth your time or energy.

I once met a guy who said he wanted to skip dating because he just wanted to be with me. I fell for it. When we broke up two months later, I realized that he had never even taken me out. It wasn’t that he wanted to be in a relationship; it was that he didn’t want to spend any money on me. He received all my affection and sex without ever having to take me out to dinner. The guy was a genius! He should quit his job detailing cars and become a spy for the government or run for office.

How can you tell you’re dating a cheap guy?

1) He never wants to go out because he’s “sick of the scene”.
2) He tells you that Valentine’s Day is just a way for Hallmark to make money.
3) At a bar, he buys two Heinekens, and then asks you for your share.
4) He never has his wallet on him.
5) He calls himself a “homebody”.
6) For a gift, he hands you a CD still in the paper bag he bought it.
7) He’s not much of a “dater”.
8) He’s always borrowing a couple of bucks and never returning them.
9) Instead of going out and renting a DVD, he makes you watch Empire Strikes Back because he owns it…and it’s the best one of the trilogy.
10) He hates double dates because he has to pony up the same amount as the other dude.

If you are dating a cheap guy, then run. If you aren’t, now you know how to spot one. Take this precious information and pass it along to your girlfriends. They will thank you for it. If only I had been so lucky….