The V-Day Coalition

Ladies, can we all just make an agreement ahead of time that we will not let Valentine's Day get us down? Instead of dwelling on the negatives: being single, dateless, no flowers/chocolate, no kisses, etc., can we please focus on the positives? The positives are: we are beautiful, free to date whomever, nobody is holding us back from our dreams, and we are not stuck in loveless relationships on Valentine's Day.

For once, I want to embrace my life on Valentine's Day because the more I think about it, I have never had a particularly wonderful V-Day. It's not all it's cracked up to be, even when I was with somebody. I've had better ones lonely and dateless.

I once got into the worst fight of our relationship with an ex-boyfriend on Valentine's Day; that was the beginning of the end for us. Years before that, I had been dumped after Christmas by a guy, and by V-Day, I had discovered that he was planning a romantic day for his new love, the girl he had always wanted, the one right before me. Knowing that he was spending Valentine's Day with his new lover tore my insides apart and left me sick to my stomach.

Truth be told, V-Day has always been better when I'm single. It's just another day. I go to work, come home, do laundry, eat dinner, watch TV, and sleep. And, if if it falls on the weekend, I spend it by myself, watching movies, but I don't go out.

Going out on Valentine's Day can be torture if you don't mentally prepare yourself: you see all the happy couples together, and it's depressing, and you can't help but think "Why can't I have that?" It's better to just chill with friends or curl up on the couch and watch chick flicks or romantic period pieces all night. At least, you know you'll enjoy yourself.

But, if you do go out that night: then rally up a few of your single girlfriends; put on your favorite heels; glam yourself up; and be as sexy and fabulous as you can be. Just remember: you may envy the girl at the bar hanging on to her boyfriend, but she's probably looking at you in all your glory, thinking "I wish I was single again."

Everybody wants the life they aren't living, even the girls with the boyfriends on Valentine's Day. So, go out and live your life as best as you can live it because before you know it, you will be that girl. Embrace your freedom as a single woman while you have it.

Are You Having a Hard Time Meeting Guys?

It's tough to meet quality men. The bars and clubs are usually full of drunken idiots who only care about picking up girls and sleeping with them. Bars and clubs are not the best places to find a good man. Take this from somebody who knows. I used to meet men in bars and clubs, and I never had good experiences. They weren't bad men; they were just not ready to settle down or even get to know somebody long enough to know if they really liked her. They were all about the party and chasing women. You don't want this guy.

If you are having a hard time meeting men, then try going to different places. If you have friends who are hosting an intimate party: throw on a sexy skirt and heels; a little mascara and lip gloss; and prepare to flirt with a cute guy or two. Parties are an excellent way to meet people, but in a less sexually charged environment as a club or a bar. The best parties to meet eligible men are dinner parties or small gatherings . The worst parties are parties that have the word "keg" or "toga required" included somewhere in the evite. If you are seeking out an adult man to date, then stay away from parties that include drinking games or people doing multiple shots.

Another fantastic way to meet men is to go to different events with your girlfriend. There are so many wonderful, cultural things to do; you just have to know how to find them. Go online or look through the newspaper for local events at museums, theatres, art galleries, or even restaurants. These events are usually good opportunities to meet well-rounded, intelligent men. There are a lot of guys out there who are looking for exactly what you are, but he can't seem to find the right girl. Some museums put together weekly singles nights. You and your girlfriend can dress up in flirty little black dresses and mingle with men in front of priceless pieces of art. Many restaurants feature wine tastings and special dinners. These are perfect nights to taste some wine, delicious food, and talk to a great guy who has been searching for a woman who will appreciate the finer things in life.

Talk to your friends. Ask them if they know of anyone you can meet. Sometimes women forget about that one guy who they've been friends with forever, but they just aren't attracted to him. Maybe your friend's boyfriend has some cute friends. Ask some of your best girlfriends if they'd like to double date. It's a lot easier and more fun if you go on a double date than a dreaded blind date. Pick some fun things to do: miniature golfing, bowling, or billiards. Keep the date casual and think of it as a night with friends, not a date with some guy you barely know.

The more you try out new places and different activities, the more likely you will meet a great guy. It's also always good to keep yourself active and your mind stimulated. Try not to dwell on not having met a guy yet; focus on your happiness and your freedom. This is your time to do whatever you would like to do. When you're 45 and married with children, you will look back at this time and think, "I wish I had done more when I was single!"

Meet the Cheap Guy

Dating, when done right, can be a wonderful experience. Two people who like each other go out and engage in fun activities. It sounds pretty good to me. So, why aren’t more people doing it? Why has dating become such a bad word? I have two words for you…cheap guys.

Dating takes effort and money. Cheap guys withhold both. The cheap guys of the world have convinced single men and women that dating is outdated and useless. How many times have you heard a guy say: “I’m not into dating. It’s too much pressure. I like to just hang out with a girl and see how it goes.”? Hmm…let me decode this for you. “I want to get laid, but I don’t want to spend any money or go anywhere. Maybe I can get her to fall for the old ‘let’s just hang out and watch movies’ line.” Ladies, next time a guy tries this line, insist that he come over to your house. Then, invite 10 girlfriends over. When he shows up, he’ll be surprised to see a whole slew of girls watching Love Actually and sobbing uncontrollably. If he seems annoyed by the situation, just smile and say, “Oh, I thought you wanted to hang out and watch movies.”

Watching movies at some guy’s house does not constitute a date. Women deserve to be taken out and romanced. The guy who thinks he can just pop in a DVD and order a pepperoni pizza on your “date” is not worth your time or energy.

I once met a guy who said he wanted to skip dating because he just wanted to be with me. I fell for it. When we broke up two months later, I realized that he had never even taken me out. It wasn’t that he wanted to be in a relationship; it was that he didn’t want to spend any money on me. He received all my affection and sex without ever having to take me out to dinner. The guy was a genius! He should quit his job detailing cars and become a spy for the government or run for office.

How can you tell you’re dating a cheap guy?

1) He never wants to go out because he’s “sick of the scene”.
2) He tells you that Valentine’s Day is just a way for Hallmark to make money.
3) At a bar, he buys two Heinekens, and then asks you for your share.
4) He never has his wallet on him.
5) He calls himself a “homebody”.
6) For a gift, he hands you a CD still in the paper bag he bought it.
7) He’s not much of a “dater”.
8) He’s always borrowing a couple of bucks and never returning them.
9) Instead of going out and renting a DVD, he makes you watch Empire Strikes Back because he owns it…and it’s the best one of the trilogy.
10) He hates double dates because he has to pony up the same amount as the other dude.

If you are dating a cheap guy, then run. If you aren’t, now you know how to spot one. Take this precious information and pass it along to your girlfriends. They will thank you for it. If only I had been so lucky….

Single and Lonely?

Are you feeling sad? Maybe you met a guy and he hasn't called yet. Maybe you're dating somebody and things just aren't working out. This happens to the best of us. Sometimes it's tough to come home to an empty house when you're feeling lonely or sad. The best way to get yourself in a better mood is to focus on ways of making yourself feel better. Here are some ideas:

1) If he hasn't called yet, then throw your phone against the wall and scream "I HATE YOU!!" as loud as you can. It won't make him call, but you will feel less stressed afterwards.

2) Eat an entire bag of candy. You will feel so sick that you won't think twice about how depressed you are.

3) Drink an entire bottle of wine; stumble around your apartment singing "I Will Survive"; collapse on your bed, clasping your ex-boyfriend's picture in your drunken, clammy hands.

4) Call your girlfriend who is in a bad relationship. Talk to her for about 10 minutes. By the time she has told you how miserable she is with her boyfriend, a relationship will be the last thing on your wish list.

5) Dress your cats up and re-enact scenes from "The Notebook".

6) Cruise the online chat rooms; tell all the guys you're only 13 and see how many perverts respond.

7) Buy one of those cheesy romance novels they sell in the grocery store; as you read, imagine yourself as a busty, bodice-covered princess with a proclivity for dating muscular, well-endowed Indian warriors. Your night will fly by!

8) Watch any reality dating show, and then chant this as your mantra, "At least I am not as pathetic as these people. At least I'm not as pathetic as these people. At least I'm not as pathetic as these people..."

9) Plan a date with your TiVo and then over a glass of wine, ask it why it taped "Murder She Wrote" and "The Golden Girls". Then say, "You know, you can be easily replaced."

10) Invite your girlfriend over and analyze each other's love life. If she asks you about the guy you met at the club who was dry humping your thigh, pretend like you have no idea what she's talking about and make a little promise to yourself that you will no longer drink Patron.

A Single Girl's Guide to Halloween

"Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story."
-- Mason Coole

As the ghouls creep out of the shadows and the witches fly past the golden autumn moon, single men and women of all ages come out to mingle in disguise. It's a great chance to be somebody else for the night. For the ladies, it's the perfect chance to show off your naughty side. Go to any Halloween party, and you will see scantily clad fairies, bunnies, vampires, Greek goddesses, cops, and even your beloved fairy tale characters from childhood. Halloween is about having fun, meeting new people, and being somebody else for the night. It's an entire evening of being with your friends and role-playing while you flirt with men.

The key to having a great Halloween as a single girl is to choose your costume and party carefully. Give yourself at least a month to search out the perfect costume. Before you purchase it, show it to one of your girlfriends. She will tell you if it's the one for you or not. There's nothing worse than seeing a girl pouring out of her costume in all the wrong places. Most costumes run small, so if you can't try it on because you are buying it online, then make sure you give yourself plenty of time to return it, or you buy 2 costumes just in case one doesn't fit. However, if you're a size 6, disregard what I just said...you lucky bitch. I am, like most of the women out there, not a size 6, so I've had problems with fitting into costumes. I tried on one vacuum sealed, sexy FBI agent costume, and I couldn't even get the crotch to snap! I had to buy a pair of black latex hot pants to put over it. A few years ago, I came across these god forsaken hot pants, and I actually hesitated throwing them out. Where the hell did I think I was going to wear these again??!! Unless I was going to start frequenting underground goth clubs, my latex hot pants were not going to get much use.

Now that you have the perfect costume, your next big decision is crucial: Which parties will you be attending and how many? This choice can make or break your Halloween and your chance of getting the phone number of some hot stud in a Dracula cape. Talk to your girlfriends about all your options. If there's a party that one of them really wants to attend, then compromise. Tell her you will go to her party if she goes to your chosen party. Find out the locations of all the parties you want to go will be and how late they will be going on. Say you decide on 3 parties, check out the one you think will be the lamest first. Show up, have a few drinks, and if it doesn't get any better in an hour, 1/2 hour if you really hate it, then leave and go to your next party. If your choice Halloween party is at a club, then be prepared to spend most of the night there. Otherwise, you're blowing a lot of money on Halloween tickets and not taking full advantage. If you know of a great party, and you know it will be going on late, then go to that one after the club. However, the later a party goes, the sloppier the guys will be, so be prepared to be unimpressed with the talent there. Batman may have been looking pretty good at 11 PM, but it's 2:00, and he's slurring his words and his breath reeks of cheap shots of tequila and Natty Light; he's not so hot now.

Okay, so now you have the costume and the parties all worked out, so what else is there? Be a lady and don't drink so much that you are a "hallowed", albeit a hot, mess. Nobody wants to see a sexy Alice in Wonderland falling into a "rabbit hole" or a naughty Snow White who's had too much of the "poison apple". Have a few drinks, but pace yourself. If you want to party hop, then you will need all the endurance you can get. In between drinks, have a Red Bull or a glass of water. This will keep up your energy. The guys you want to attract are not into drunken disasters. You will have more fun if you are not completely obliterated. Not to mention, you'll give off a better first impression when talking to a cute guy.

Ladies, have a fabulous Halloween and be as wicked and naughty as you want to be. It's your night for the sexy girl to come out and play. She only comes out once a year, so have fun and meet lots of guys, even if they are in unfortunately misguided costumes. Remember, be on your toes or your platform heels,you never know when you'll meet your Prince Charming...or at the very least some hot guy dressed as Prince Charming who wants your number ;-)