Measure the Stupidity

I received a message from the old realtor last night around 8:30pm, asking if J and I were moving out early because the new tenants were hoping to move in early and if we wouldn't mind if the new tenants came over this Saturday and took measurements. J and I were less than pleased about the situation. I understand they would like to move in early because they're really excited about living there. That's fine. We are not moving out early, but there was no harm in asking. However, asking to go back into our apartment and take measurements is something I would never ask to do - ever. It's fucking rude. Yeah, I understand you're really psyched to be moving into our shoebox-sized fourth floor walk-up with the BFI truck in the alley that wakes us up every morning at 7:30 even on weekends and holidays, but take a chill pill. We have one more month there, and we just want to be left alone. We don't want two strangers coming into our place and taking measurements. The place is small; if you have furniture, then cut those pieces in half because they probably won't fit through the door. I e-mailed the realtor and told him that if they want to take measurements a week before, then fine. If they need measurements before, then I will measure the place for them. Fucking idiots. I would love to tell these people to look up the word "imposition" in the dictionary, and then get back to me. If you want measurements, wait until you actually move into the place and take them yourselves.

I've Come to the Conclusion...

That most apartment owners are total fucking morons. J and I have been posting several ads on Craigslist about twice a week. The only responses we got were from complete idiots. Take for example the woman who had a condo she wanted to rent, but she never got back to me, even though I e-mailed her twice and talked to her husband (he said it was still available). Then, there were the people who would e-mail me one sentence: "I have a great apartment in (fill in the blank)." Okay, that's awesome and all, but I forgot my crystal ball at home - so you need to tell me a little more than where it's located.

There was one crazy woman who responded to my ad by telling me that her apartment was like being in the country and there were a lot of birds. Great, will those birds be flying me to work by any chance because I'm looking to know how close this place is to public transportation, not how many Tufted Titmouses land in the birdbath! I e-mailed this woman twice asking how much rent was, and every response was vaguer than the next. Her last one was: "You have a cat, right?" I imagine she'd be a great landlord. I would call her because the pipes had burst, and cluelessly she would ask me who I was and where did I live, and if I had seen the Goldfinches this season. This is the reason why we have decided to go through a realtor. And, that's another rant altogether.

Apartment Hunting, Vol. I, Part II

Apartment hunting sucks. I've been perusing the pages of Craigslist, hoping to find a nice apartment, and there's zilch out there. I've also responded to several realtors, the majority of people who post ads for apartments, telling them exactly what my boyfriend and I are looking for and to please contact me if anything comes up. Nobody responds. You wouldn't believe the shitholes people are trying to rent nowadays. And, I love seeing an ad for a place that doesn't even have a dishwasher in the apartment or a washer/dryer in the entire building. The best is when an ad says: "Laundry close by", which basically means if you want to get any of your whites done, you'll have to walk a few blocks to the local laundromat. Bish, pls! I stopped going to laundromats in my 20's. Or, it says: "has laundry hook-ups". We rent for chrissakes. Do you think we have a full washer/dryer set that we just cart from apartment to apartment?!

I also like seeing "no utilities included", and then you find out that this old, drafty apartment with high ceilings and shitty windows from 1957 is heated with oil. Oh, great sign me up! I have a $700 old gas bill from my LAST apartment that I'm still paying off because the place had god-awful windows and the ceilings were very high. The place was freezing cold all frigging winter, and yet our gas bill was $400 a month. I bet those ceilings were toasty warm though.

Also, nobody wants to live in your shitty apartment with the indoor/outdoor carpeting. It's gross.