The other night, I met up with one of my good friends, a guy I've known for about 8 years now, for dinner. After dinner, as we were having a couple of drinks, my friend told me a hilarious story, and it was too funny not to share. He said one night after work (he's a waiter), he stopped by this hotel bar to have a couple of drinks before last call. He said that it was the only bar in the area that was open until 2am, and it was the last call spot for all the waiters/waitresses.
One mixed drink = $13
Hitting up a bar for a couple of drinks after a stressful shift = Priceless.
He sat down at the bar and started talking to a girl in her 20s who was there by herself, drinking Jameson straight and sketching in her notepad. She was the artsy type. They struck up a conversation and hit it off. They wanted to keep the party going. He told her that he had rum at his apartment, and she said that her friend had some weed at hers.
They made a couple of pit stops and then went back to her place to get really drunk and stoned with one of her friends. Around 4am, the girlfriend left and the two crazy kids started going at it. He said it was getting kinky and that she was pretty wild and adventurous. She introduced some metal handcuffs into the situation, and although he was hesitant to wear handcuffs, he agreed after she assured him that she had the key.
So, they did their thing, and then he asked her to get the key to the handcuffs. It was now 6 in the morning, and he had a lunch shift at the restaurant where he worked. He needed to get the handcuffs off, go home, take a shower, and go to work. However, there was a wrench in the plans: she couldn't find the KEY. She had no idea where it was. They tried busting the lock. They tried pulling them off, but nothing worked. This is when my friend started freaking the fuck out.
What do you do when you are in a set of handcuffs in some random one night stand's apartment and you have work in a few hours? He called a locksmith. A FUCKING LOCKSMITH! The guy came to the apartment and had to free him from a set of handcuffs. Can you imagine?! I mean, that must've made the guy's year because that is hilarious, and guaranteed, any time that locksmith gets drunk with a group of people, he tells that story. How could he not?!
My friend had to pay $100 to get his wrists freed from the metal cuffs. He had to call into the restaurant where he worked and told the manager that "he was in a bind", but the manager was pissed and wasn't going to let it slide, telling him he had to come in. So, what did my friend do? He told his manager that he was in a pair of handcuffs and wouldn't be out of them by opening. The guy was dumbfounded, as anybody would be in that situation.
In the end, my friend got written up for missing a shift, which makes me wonder if that little tidbit of information was put in his file: "Got handcuffed by some random chick and missed work." Yeah, that's definitely a restaurant industry no no.
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