Thursday, June 18, 2009

The "I Still Live at Home" Guy


I'm always baffled by these clueless and dependent (see: Mama's Boys) dumbasses. They're always in their late 20s to early 30s, and it's always for the same reason "I'm saving money for a house." No, they're not, but it sure does sound good. And they always put a good spin on their living situation: "Oh, I have an apartment downstairs." Umm, last time I checked this was called your mother's basement. If your mother has to knock before she comes down to do laundry, then it's a basement. If your mother has to call down the stairs for you to come up and eat dinner, then it's a basement.

These men always have decent jobs, and they seem to have their shit together: they don't. They're completely dependent on their mothers. Their mothers do everything for them: cook, clean, make their beds, tie their ties, and do their laundry (of course!). These guys have been babied and breast fed well into their 20s, and they're not weaning off the teat anytime soon. If you date one or worse, end up with one, you will be their new Mommy.

If you meet one of these, don't waste your time. They're immature, financially retarded, and have no understanding of the adult world as we know it. There are many guys out there who have apartments, pay their own bills, and even make their own beds, so why bother dating ones that don't? Save yourself the aggravation. Date real men, not boys.

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