Showing posts with label vh1. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vh1. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tool Academy



Yup, I watch Tool Academy. Didn't want to, but I saw one episode, and now I'm hooked. I hate when that happens. I now have to balance out my guilty pleasure, shitty television habit with heavy doses of reading, watching the History and Discovery channels, and engaging in intellectual conversations revolving around Baudelaire and Nietzsche.

The premise of Tool Academy is simple: Ridiculous men, who have bizarre alter egos with names like Matsuflex, Mega, and Celebrity, go on a reality TV show, thinking that they are competing for the Mr. Awesome contest (whatever that is). However, much to their disapppointment, there is no Mr. Awesome contest, ha.

The host then tells them that they are indeed "tools", and that their girlfriends (yes, girlfriends)have brought them to the Tool Academy to be trained manners, provided lessons on how not to cheat on your girlfriend, and given a big helping of "shut the F up, you're a moron".

What I don't understand is why or how their girlfriends are with them in the first place. I know love is blind, and you can't help you fall in love with, but c'mon! Ladies, isn't it better to be single than deal with a grown man who calls himself "Matsuflex", parades around in what he refers to as "man panties", and says he has sex with different women and not his girlfriend, because he "doesn't want to screw things up"?!! Wouldn't staying single be the best choice in this situation?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Jackie Blue is the Worst

There's a new show on VH1 called Glam God, and it's basically a bunch of people who are competing to be the next big celebrity stylist. There's one guy named Joachim who is permanently shit-faced. I want to walk up to him and say, "Uhh, I think you're on the wrong show. The auditions for Intervention are that way." He drinks morning, noon, and night, and he's a total asshole who's in major denial about his problem. If that's not bad enough, he has an alter ego (yuck) named "Jackie Blue". Jackie Blue is gross, extremely intoxicated, sloppy, disheveled, and looks like a hooker from Hunt's Point. This is a clip featuring Joachim incessantly talking about Jackie Blue and then, Joachim as Jackie Blue. I hope you have a strong stomach. Watching a gay man in very bad drag as he slurs and stumbles around in 7-inch platforms and has facial hair is not my idea of "fabulous".