Just Friends

My mom has a theory that there's no such thing as a guy friend, just somebody who was, or still is interested, but he got caught in the friend zone, and now you two are buddies. I'm not sure this can be said about all male/female relationships, but there are the select few instances where this theory holds true.

You meet a guy, and he likes you, and because you're a friendly person, you're nice to him, and then he sits around and bides his time hoping (a) you'll see how amazing he really is (b) realize that what you've been searching for is right under your nose, or (c) hope to get you so wasted that you lower your sober standards and have sex with him.

This so-called friend will linger for months, even years, just waiting for you to choose him. 9 times out of 10, you do not end up with him. Sure, there are people out there who fall for their best guy friends, but it's rare.

The worst part is when you do like some other guy, he will act like a needy, jealous boyfriend. And forget about trying to hook up with somebody around him because he brings a whole new meaning to the classic "cock block". This guy will go out of his way to keep you from hooking up with this person. When finally you have to step in and say "Ok, cut the shit."

He acts as if he carries the secret lock to your vagina. This is why you have to be blunt, and if it means hurting the guy's feelings, then so be it. You can't let somebody ruin your happiness because jackass didn't get the hint 8 months ago that you two were only friends and nothing else.

So, how do you keep these friends from coming into your life? The key is to look for the warning signs right off the bat. Red flags are:

- overly helpful
- makes it annoyingly clear that he's attracted to you, despite you changing the subject
- when you talk about other guys, he puts them down
- texts and e-mails constantly through the day and night
- never dates anybody
- makes comments how you need a "real man"
- calls himself "a nice guy"
- is always trying to spend alone time with you
- makes snide remarks to the guy with whom you're interested, but passes it off as he's joking (he's not)

Communication is key. You control this friendship, so if he steps out of line, then it's your job to straighten him out. Don't let anybody make you feel uncomfortable. And if your friend can't respect your boundaries, then tell him to hit the bricks. Trust me, there are men out there who are able to manage a friendship with a woman without it bordering the line of stalking or sexual harassment. "Just friends" means just friends.