2007: Another Year Gone By

A year ago, if you would've asked me where my life would be at this moment, I would've never been able to guess. Much has changed in just one year. My boyfriend of almost two years and I found a place in the city together. We adopted a cat who needed a home. The first time during my career, I felt like I was moving in the right direction. And, I watched one of my closest girlfriends move 3,000 miles away. It's been a long year. There have been many ups and downs. It's been a rocky road. My boyfriend and I have struggled financially and romantically. Things have not been easy.
We moved into a lovely apartment in one of the best areas in the city. Although, it's a great place and the perfect location, it has caused many problems. We pay a lot of money for a place that we don't want to be anymore. I think we've come to the realization that we aren't city people. We thought we were; but when it comes down to it, we are suburbanites at heart. The city is not relaxing. Frankly, it's a pain in the ass. Our apartment is on the 4th floor, and there is no elevator. It's technically three flights up, but they are grueling, never ending flights. We thought we would get used to it, but we never did. In fact, I think it's getting worse. By the time, you get up the stairs, you just want to collapse on the couch and never get up. Part of the reason, we wanted to move into the city was to be in the middle of everything. We are indeed in the middle of everything, only it doesn't matter because we never leave the house! Once you go up those stairs, you are sucked into the vortex. I told my boyfriend it's like being trapped up in a tower. You feel isolated, tired, and unmotivated to go back downstairs. Oh, and don't get me started on bringing groceries up! I'm trying to enjoy the place until we decide to move some time next year, but I'm having a hard time. I just want a place with a driveway and maybe a yard; a big apartment where my cat can run around; and somewhere I can stash all my shit because I have a ton of clothes, books, and knick nacks without a home right now.

I guess it's funny to think that what you think are the decisions that will make you the happiest will in fact make you the most miserable. Who would've thought a year from now, I would be here. This has been an extremely difficult year. My boyfriend's and my relationship has been tested over and over again. There have been many outside factors that have caused this strife. We are working through our issues, and I am optimistic that 2008 will bring some happiness for us. There are a lot of changes in the works for both of us: personally, career wise, and hopefully financially. We are entering a new year with new opportunities. If I had to guess where I will be a year from now, I would tell you I have no idea, and I don't want to guess. John Lennon said it best when he said, "Life happens when you're making other plans." I have an idea where I would like to be a year from now, but I'll just see where life takes me in 2008.

The Right Guy

How do you know when you've found the right guy? He's the one you want to spend all your time with. He's the one you run to when you have a bad day. He's your last call of the night. He's knows how to make you smile, cry, and laugh. He's not perfect, but he tries to be the best man he can be for you; and you love him for that. You may go through ups and downs together, but your relationship only gets stronger. There are days you cry; there are days you kiss; there are days you want to forget and days you don't want to end. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. The right guy is the one you want to spend your life with; he's the one you can't picture yourself without.

Men Who Think They Are God's Gift to Women

How funny is it that these men are usually the opposite of gifts to women? They’re more like scorns in our sides; they’re total jerks with egos the size of Texas. And, they’re everywhere! You see them on the subway, wearing sunglasses and listening to their iPods; hanging out in bars with a group of jackasses, usually clad in your typical “man about town” blue button down shirts and black slacks; or strutting down the street as if they had “Stayin’ Alive” playing in the background as their personal soundtrack. So, why do we date them? The answer is simple – because they are confident.

In the dating world, confidence goes a long way. Have you ever met a really attractive guy, but he was really shy and seemed unsure of himself? You probably have; and were you attracted to him? Probably not. Shy and unsure is not appealing. Some women like it; but on the whole, women want somebody who is outgoing and dominant. One of my girlfriends dated a really attractive guy. He was smart, funny, but he was introverted. She said they would hang out, and he would just sit there. He had very little to say. He seemed nervous and almost scared that he was around a girl. She thought it was cute for a while, and then she realized she needed somebody with whom she could interact, not a mannequin who would just sit around and look pretty.

There’s nothing sexier than a confident man. He may be unattractive, not very bright, and bad in bed; but he probably has a ton of women who want to date him because he knows who he is. He’s not afraid of anything that comes his way. He knows what he wants out of life. Just look at the male seminars for “The Mystery Method” or the book, “The Game” – they teach men how to be confident and dominant to attract the opposite sex.

I have dated several extremely confident men, and the majority of them had very little going for them. However, they were so sure of themselves that I was fooled into thinking they were great individuals; they weren’t. Cockiness hides many flaws. Be wary of the man who thinks he is a gift from God; he’s most likely a narcissistic jerk trying to hide his true self.

"One does not have to sleep with, or even touch, someone who has paid for your meal. All those obligations are hereby rendered null and void, and any man who doesn't think so needs a quick jab in the kidney." ~Cynthia Heimel, Sex Tips for Girls, 1983

Dear Colette

I don't know what's wrong with me, but guys just aren't that interested in me. I ask men out all the time, but after one or two dates, they want nothing to do with me! What am I doing wrong?

- Dateless in Chicago

Dear Dateless in Chicago,

No need to fret, my dear. This can easily be fixed. You need to stop asking men out. I know you want to be an independent woman who seeks out her own happiness. However, when it comes to finding a great guy, you have to let him come to you. Guys do not like aggressive women. They like to be the aggressors. Since the beginning of time, men's basic instincts are to hunt and gather; this goes for finding women as well! Men like the chase. They want to be the ones who make all the moves. So, the key is to focus on yourself and build yourself into the hottest, most successful, and intriguing woman you can be, and that great guy will find you. He will chase you, and you will let him. He wants a challenge, so give him one. And honey, make him work for it! You're worth it.